It started with a Raid War / Quackity x Reader Fanfic

thirty-four

Alex's pov

I hear sobbing from behind y/n's door. My heart yearns to help her.

Even in all my anger, in all my sadness, I still want to help her.

She hurt you. A voice in my head whispers. She let you think that she had feelings when she didn't. She left you without any explanation why she did it at all. She hurt you. She squashed your hope with the bottom of her shoe.

So why should I help her?

She's still my best friend. She's still that same girl underneath. I can hear it through the thin walls of our apartment when she laughs. I can see it in her face sometimes before she goes to bed, wanting to ask me to stay with her. I can hear her footsteps come to my door, then walk away without knocking. Even if she messed up, she's still my best friend.

And that girl deserved the world.

I knock on the door quietly, then open it slowly. "y/n?" I whisper.

"Go away." She says.

I ignore her. I sit next to her on the floor. She throws herself into my chest and cries.

"I hate you, you know? I really do."

I stay quiet, hoping for an explanation.

"I hate you for leaving me. You're going to leave, and we're never going to talk again. We barely talk right now. Why would we talk when you live hundreds of miles away?"

I swallow. She's right. I probably wouldn't call. I'd probably get angrier at her for being so far away, even if that's not her fault.

She sits up straight. "You know what else I hate you for?" She doesn't wait for me to answer. "I hate you for kissing me. I wish that never happened. Actually, no, I'll take that back."

I smile a little bit. She scoffs at my smile.

"Don't look smug. I hate you. I hate you for not letting me explain myself. I hate you for getting mad and sucking at communicating about it. I hate you, but I love you. You're my best friend. I wasn't sure about so many things, except that I didn't want to lose you. And then I did. I fucking lost you."

She continues to cry. I mull over her words. Did I really never let her explain? I remember the anger I felt from Sapnap's words in the kitchen, and the silent ride as I thought about my anger. She never said a word. She let me think it through.

No wonder she said maybe, Alex. She had just been kissed by two guys and never had a moment to herself to think it through.

Then, once I found out, I still didn't let her pick. I thought I was making her choice easy, but I never did when neither of us got closure.

"I'm not going anywhere, y/n." I finally say, "Whether you hate me or not, you're stuck with me for a while."

She sniffs and smiles a little bit.

"When you're ready, can we talk about it?" I ask.

She nods. And then she tells me. She tells me how she was just trying to be nice to Sapnap when they shared a bed. She explains how he helped her when she was upset, and how that somehow led to them feeling more connected, which led to their kiss.

She explains how conflicted she felt when I  kissed her. She explains that she wanted to get her thoughts sorted but never could.

I explained how I felt. The anger. The pain. The remorse.

In the end, we fall asleep while catching up on the last three weeks of our lives. It wasn't romantic in any sense at all, but we both got what we needed.

 Closure.

word count: 622

authors note:

kinda sad the end is coming lol

anyways have a great day! byeeee