chapter forty

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I have never rushed home like I did tonight. I just needed to see him. I just needed to hear him say my name. I just need to hug him and tell him all my feelings.

I fumble with the lock. It takes me three tries to actually open the door.

I swing the door open. Alex is standing right in front of me.

"Y/N?" he sounds surprised. "What are you doing home? You scared us for a second."

My heart drops through my whole body, through the floors below us on the apartment building and then ten feet underground.

Us?

I look to my right to see the beautiful girl scrunched into a ball on the couch, looking back at me.

Rachel.

Cover up cover up cover up.

"Oh I really need to pee right now. I just wanted to get in the door. Hey Rachel!"

I walk past them into my room to drop off my bags before going into the bathroom.

I look like a mess. I'm still wearing the outfit from my date with Nick. Over top of it is a black zip up hoodie. I assume it's clay from the way it fits me.

My mascara is slightly smeared, and my hair definitely just got off a plane.

I look like a mess, but a part of me sees what Nick saw tonight. I'm a mess, but I'm a beautiful mess.

And that is the only reason I had the confidence to leave the bathroom to get water.

I drink from my glass as I sit on a stool on the counter.

"How'd your date with Nick go?" Alex asks.

My eyes trace his arm wrapped around the beautiful girl next to him. "Oh, you know, we went and we ate, but I realized that we're really just friends."

It's technically the truth. I just realized a couple other things too.

"Only you would travel hundreds of miles to go on a date, just to realize you're friends." Alex laughs and shakes his head at me.

And then travel hundreds of miles back to tell you best friend, who has a girlfriend, that you're basically in love with him? Yup, only me.

"What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic." I down the rest of my water, wishing is was alcohol. "I'm going to bed. Night.

"Night!" They call in unison.

What a lovely, in-sync couple.

Barf.


word count: 382

author's note:

yuckity yuck yuck

hope you have a great day!

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