Surviving my Scholarship

Pi

"What am I paying you for? Get her to eat something," Pierce hissed from the doorway where Holden was doing his best to keep him at bay. "Has she eaten anything at all?"

I groaned in frustration at the noise breaking my concentration. Rolling over to the side of the bed, I slid off and stretched my arms over my head. My lounge pants proceeded to slip down past my hips revealing my new presence. My hip bones looked as if they could puncture through my skin with ease now. I frowned down as I grabbed the rim of my pants and pulled them above my waist again.

                I had lost a bit of weight, but I would easily gain it back when the job was done or at least I keep trying to convince myself. This equation was more difficult than I remember and without that machine to go into my own memories, figuring out what number goes where was becoming increasingly more challenging. Even though I feel like I have been working on it for centuries, I only was about a third of the way through it.

                "Violet," Pierce snaps me out of my obsession when he lightly touches my shoulders. I glance at him but my vision has worsened from the strain of staring at those horrid bunnies and it's like I can see through him. "Violet, please talk to me."

                I force myself to focus on his golden eyes. As he comes into view so does the extent of his worry. He looks like he hasn't slept in quite awhile as the bags droop under his eyes. His once golden eyes are diminished by the yellow and red lines. He keeps gripping his hands and releasing them as if he is fighting back some sort of stress or frustration. This isn't my Pierce.

                "We need to talk, Violet," he states again after clearing his throat.

I shake my head as I turn and slowly make my way around the hundreds of food trays that lay about the room. Some have started to smell, however I cannot allow anyone in to clean them up for fear of disturbing a shadow that may be holding the fragile equation together for me right now. I feel like a ballerina tiptoeing around the stage. As I pass soup bowls and glasses of mystery liquids, my foot taps the side of a sandwich tray and some creatures scurry to their hiding spots illuminating brilliant metallic lights as they go.

"Violet, you need to get out of here and eat something," Pierce demands as he trudges through the trays as if they wouldn't make the worst mess on the floor. The things overturn and make sickening noises as they escape their confines. "You need to get away from this....... That thing. It's not important right now." He gestures at my painting and I glance back shortly before reaching the bathroom and closing the door.

"Drag her out of here already," Pierce orders in irritation as his figure retreats out of the room.

                I sigh in relief as Holden shouts the all clear and I slide down the door and sit on the floor. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I can't help but shiver at the ragged look Pierce is sporting lately. It makes me fear him even more now. I tried to forgive him for killing that man, but every time he attempted to comfort me, my body reacted. It would shiver and retract away. No matter how many times I repeated that it was fine, my body refused to believe me.   

                I had to move on from this. I had to get my body to trust Pierce; however I had no idea on how to start the healing process. So, I run and hide and Pierce doesn't chase me. It gave my mind comfort, and tore my heart to pieces all at the same time. If only there was a way to suppress my natural reactions.

                I stumbled to get back up and realized maybe I should eat something when the dizzy spell starts. I opened the door and looked over at the fresh tray in Holden's hands and he smirked when I trudged through the swamp of rotting food towards him. I supported the heavily packed sandwich with both hands before inhaling the contents of it. Holden seemed far too pleased about it and I quickly realized my mistake.