*Ara's POV*
"Ara?" I heard my name in the distance. It was faint due to the volume of my thoughts, and boy were they loud; deafening even.
"Yeah?" Was my weak response. How did my life go from zero to one thousand in the span of a month and a half? My life was bound to get complex but is this it?
Lies, secrets and more lies. Does life have anything to offer me other than shambles and pain? I know I'm not the only one who has been hurt, but God do I want it to stop. I'm tired of the façade, secrets, betrayals and just overall lies.
I feel like I'm gonna die not knowing half of the things I thought did. Or not admitting to something that I should've admitted to, all the while oblivious to the fact that it was my last day.
"I know how you feel. Countless thoughts running through your head at the speed of light and you're wondering. Will it stop? Is this the beginning or the end? How did my life turn out to be like this?" Mom basically narrowed my thoughts down.
I looked up and there she was, sitting across from me with way too much paper work and a killer look in her eyes. That's something I never thought I would say. Putting mom and the word killer in the same sentence with killer meaning what it actually is.
"This is your workspace. I'm sorry." I got up trying to leave but that failed and I was back in my chair.
"No sit. Talk to me—" For some reason I actually wanted to stay. It was the way she said it, the soft yet alluring tone she used made sure that I couldn't defy her. Is this how her men feel? "—I'm right aren't I? You have so many questions that none of them seem right. You could ask me anything you know. I'll give you the honest truth."
"Do I have to do this? Answer me truthfully." I questioned.
"Yes and no. No because you have a choice, that is up to you but yes, because I can't one thousand percent guarantee that you won't be forced into it later on by an almost impossible decision or life or death."
"So what you're saying is that it's best to join." She nodded.
"It's hard for me to even consider this but I have to. So I'm sorry." I nodded this time.
"So... Brent. Was he a part of this?" She chuckled softly.
"This life yes, but he wasn't even on my side of things. As you could remember we had a difference in opinion."
"Yeah, difference in opinion." I agreed knowing damn well that, that was more than a difference in opinion.
"It's okay to hate me for that, but I can guarantee you that you don't hate me as much as I hate myself."
"I hate what happened; it sucked and it hurt. But I could never hate you mom. Do you want me to hate you?"
"Of course not, but we both know that you can't completely not hate me or even blame me for what happened. When push comes to shove you'll forget this conversation and you'll see it as clear as day. You'll see how there is no one else to blame but me."
"I disagree."
"How's the coping going?"
"I've been—uhm— stressed but I'll survive."
YOU ARE READING
Troubled Life
RandomClara is girl who was used, abused, and hurt. She doesn't trust any guy she comes across and with good reason. She has nightmares that almost feel too real, and she's always self conscious. If only most people knew that behind that bitchy, fierce, a...
