I'm dead without you (omegaverse)

Farewell this heart of mine

It was the sunlight through the blinds that woke Tem. From the moment he opened his eyes, he wanted to fall asleep again. This is going to be a terrible day, was the first thing he thought. It felt as if a dark heavy cloud hung over him. So heavy that it felt like it was pushing him to the ground. Tem had to gather all the strength he had to even get out of bed, and as soon as he did, he crawled back. He wanted to lay under the blanket, turn off the phone and sleep for the rest of his life

Today he would cancel the wedding and never have a relationship again. The thought made his heart hurt. But what could he do? He had that mark on his neck. He was forever tied to a boy who didn't want to touch him. That would only see him as nothing more than a friend. But Tem didn't want to settle for that. He wanted someone to look at him and think things like, 'Damn, that ass is fine. I wonder how it tastes,' or just be with someone who truly loved him. But no. That would never happen.

For the first time since the night he met Eamon, Tem felt trapped. He was bound and his love life was now in the hands of a fourteen-year-old heterosexual boy. Tem realised that he hadn't understood the seriousness of it all. And he was filled with bitterness so intense that his body trembled. It just wasn't fair. He never wanted a fated pair. Hell, he hadn't even known that fated pairs existed before he happened to meet his. And now, he could never have sex with anyone but Eamon. He couldn't even kiss anyone else. He had discovered that the hard way the day before. When Tem got home, he puked like crazy. It was as if his head was cracking like overripe fruit, and he felt sick.

Eamon could kiss as many people as he wanted without feeling like he was going to die. He could have sex and have children. Sure, it wasn't like Tem wished to have kids, but he wanted that choice to be his. And the more Tem thought about it, the angrier he got. Eamon didn't have this type of problem. He was an alpha, and everything was so damn easy for him.

And finally, it dawned on Tem. He would forever go through his heats all alone. No one would be there to help him, no one who'd calm him with their pheromones. Tem had been through a few heats alone before, and he hated it. The desperation, the loneliness and the overwhelming lust no one would help him with. He couldn't force Eamon to be with him, and Eamon was also a minor. Tem knew that no matter how kind Eamon was, he would never want to have sex with him. Why would he? Tem was a guy with a flat chest and a dick. Eamon would have to put his cock in Tem's ass. Of course, the straight boy would find that disgusting. Tem could understand that. Tem would never want to thrust his cock into a woman. Just the thought made his skin crawl.

Tem didn't realise it yet, but he was on the verge of going into a serious depression. Well, he knew he had been very energetic the past weeks, and now it felt like he was coming down from a high. Because his manic episode had been unusually long, the backlash thanks to all the energy he spent, the sleepless nights and hidden stress would make this depression severe. Just as his psychologist had predicted. That's how his disorder worked. Episodes of mania and then of depression. High and lows. And unfortunately, his depression was triggered at the worst time possible.

Tem didn't want to meet anyone. He didn't want to talk to anyone or think of anyone. He wanted to forget everything about the wedding, the mark on his neck, about the one who loved him and the one he had started to have feelings for. But unfortunately, he couldn't escape it. Farid would there in less than an hour, and thinking about it gave Tem a headache. He didn't want to have this conversation. He really didn't want to. And most of all, Tem didn't want to see Farid sad. No, he wanted Farid to be happy. And the more he thought about it, the more he realised that he truly hated the thought of ending things with Farid. Sure, they were different. They had different interests and personalities. But was that really such a big deal? He and Eamon were also very different. And Farid had been in Tem's life for as long as he could remember. Always there to keep him company, in his own way. Tem had never actually disliked the idea of marrying Farid. Not only because it would be easier that way for everyone, which he always said to himself was the reason, but because deep inside, Tem had always wanted Farid in his life.