Life SUCKS.

PUT IN HER SHOES ONCE.

  
  We were called on stage. We danced with Johnson. We tried,I gave my best trying to be positive. But no one was able to do Johnson's part of the dance when it was his turn. So we stumbled. Two minutes into the dance,I spotted Johnson sitting among the audience smirking at Samuel. And Samuel noticed him and was smirking too, maybe trying to prove his point. But,that was enough distraction as Samuel reshuffled the dance steps. We all got confused and tripped over each other. I couldn't even look at the principal,she kept me in charge and all we did was disgrace the school on tv! We were more like the star team and now we didn't even need to wait for the judges,we knew we had lost.

    We stood up, heads down and left the stage. Okay,this was now the worst day of my life. No one will love to be humiliated like that. I was looking forward to receiving my share of the prize money and now my efforts gone.
     My mum had promised to pay the neighbor. So she could lend her tv for a while,for her and my siblings to watch me. I knew that Mama Shola was very greedy and would have charged nothing more than N1,000 just for an hour. And this is the forth presentation, meaning my mum had paid her atleast N4,000. Ofcourse,I had tried to convince her. But my mum is stubborn,she claimed nothing would bring smiles to her face than watching her daughter shining like a star. I had tried harder,we didn't have enough money to spare..not to talk of N4,000. I had remembered trying to convince her that Friday.

    "Treasure I'm your mum and you won't dictate what I should do. Just because you're all smart and helping alot doesn't mean I don't have a say. Isn't not having a television set enough to cause me worries? Atleast don't take this opportunity from me. What is N4,000? There was once a time,that money was just very cheap. Don't make me remember my past,it only makes me cry. At the end of the day,I'm sure you will win. So this N4,000 won't matter when you return making mama proud. I know you will do your best, atleast let me do the little I can do. I hate feeling helpless", my mum was starting to tear up so I just agreed with her immediately to stop the tears. I was determined to do my best just to make things work.

    I can't believe I broke her trust. I didn't win. I lost,I began to repeat those words in my head and it broke me. I lost, Treasure lost, I didn't do my best. My best wasn't enough. Maybe it was me,we should have decided on the leader from the beginning. Why was I such a fool? The tears I was trying to force in,came running down uncontrollably down my cheeks immediately I went backstage. Everyone tried to console me but I couldn't take any of it. This was the first time I was showing them my pain, letting them see my pain. I felt like an open book with no covers. I felt vulnerable. I turned deaf to all my surroundings. I refused to listen to Samuel. I refused to listen to Sofia. I was in my little world. And all that occupied my mind was how I failed. I failed to bring smiles to my mum's face.

   I failed to make her smile. She must be disappointed in me. I'm not surprised I'm a disappointment afterall. I never got the scholarship abroad. But this one thing I prayed to God about, wasn't answered. Even God didn't listen to me,am I much of a sinner? How will I pay my brothers school fees now? He has been home for almost a month and we weren't able to gather half the fees. I was the only hope,but now we're hopeless.

    "Tress please don't cry. I didn't know you will be this hurt. It was all Samuel's fault. I'm so sorry". I heard Johnson say,what was he doing backstage? Did he come back here,just to mock us? Was he really apologizing to me? He has never apologize to me nor anyone before. So why now? After making me fail to make my mum proud? Was he for real? So he is this heartless. After making us disgrace ourselves. He came back here just to spike me, really?

     "Hey,back off", Samuel said patting my back affectionately.
    "Samuel I'm also sorry. I shouldn't have fought with you. I mean I was just jealous that she got to be with you. Okay,I admit it was probably just obsession. Are you happy now? I'm sorry Treasure. I just really like you and hated the fact that he was your boyfriend. I should have been more sensible".

    "Wait you like who? You're kidding. Who would like someone and insult them so openly? You were always looking for ways to rub her family condition all over her. You always found joy in making her cry. You always found joy in making her miserable. You're always carrying yourself like the boss. You even backed out, because you knew how important you were! Just because of your skills,it would have been better if you didn't participate from the beginning. I wish you were put in her shoes once. Do you even know what she has to go through everyday?

    She barely sleeps. Because she has to go to work after school. And when she is back,she doesn't relax like you do. She helps with the house chores. Makes dinner if her sister isn't home. Wait for everyone to settle down and go to bed. Then, she is reading for 3 hours. Can you ever go through that stress? Your maid probably even bathes you. I mean I won't be surprised at all. And now you're here claiming you like her? Can you even hear yourself? Like seriously..just back off", Sofia said. I love her so much. She was the only one who understood me and was always supporting me. Right now nothing really cared, I just didn't want to look at both their faces.

      "Samuel I'm really disappointed. I begged you,but what did you do,you gave me conditions. I should have just gone after him. Instead I chose to stay back for you and you just ruined everything on stage as if literally kicking him out wasn't enough!" I whispered amidst tears. But I knew it was loud enough for everyone to comprehend it. "And you Johnson I don't really know what to say to you. I don't want you to talk to me ever again and to hell with liking me. I want my space Samuel. I want us to go on a break for a week and finally decide if this relationship is worth it since my opinions don't matter". I sobbed.

     "Tress you can't say that. I mean..", Samuel was trying to say but I wasn't going to hear any of it.  "I can say what I want to say and I mean it. Just back off please. I need my space. Please Sofia take me away".

Sofia didn't argue or say anything. She totally understood me and supported me. She led me out of their presence into an entirely quiet place in the theater. I didn't know what happened next,I can only remember crying myself to sleep with her trying to calm me down. And now I'm awake,and we're on the plane. We were heading back home.