Whole of You

2

After they finally finished cleaning the room, the sun was down. So his friends went to Jin's and Namjoon's apartment to eat, letting Taehyung close a few last things before joining them.

Taehyung loved having his friends. They didn't make him a different person, he didn't have to pretend to be okay and happy with them, he really was.

He hasn't felt bad with himself since Jin walked into the apartment in the morning. They usually distracted him from that, without even knowing they did.

But nothing lasts forever. Isn't it?

Taehyung thought about it for a while. Not really sure what the answer is.

When he was finally satisfied with the way the apartment looked, and made sure there was space for the new roommate's stuff in the kitchen and the bathroom, he made his way to his friends for one last night just as them.

They didn't know it, but the youngest wasn't planning on staying in that position for a long time. When he was told that his new roommate was a young male, in his first year he made up his mind - he is going to add him to their little group.

Taehyung was a smart guy, he realized that if his future friend was coming to live with him in his first year, he probably doesn't have any good friends coming with him to the university. And besides, if his new roommate was in the group, he could still host their gatherings anytime he would like, which was an idea his inner sloth very liked.

Shortly he found himself at the right building. The whole group was living in the same neighborhood close to campus.

He knocked on the apartment door, which was opened by a tall man with a big smile and very cute dimples on his face.

"Namjoony hyung!" Taehyung said while hugging his only friend he didn't get to see that day. He missed his clumsy hyung today. At some point.

"Tae-Tae! Good to see you! Sorry I couldn't come help today, I had a meeting in school"

The tall one apologized.

Namjoon was a really smart person, like really smart, so today he was at school, Talking to the study group he taught.

"That's okay baby, we all love your sexy brain" Jin said, kissing his boyfriend's cheek.

"Wait what?" Youngi said confused from the sofa "how can a brain be sexy?"

"I'll show you tonight" his boyfriend said to him, with a teasing smile.

"Can we please eat before you'll make me lose my appetite?" J-hope said, looking at the couple sitting next to him with a disgusted face.

"Yes. I would like that very much" Taehyung agreed. "Are you guys in the mood for pizza?" He asked the room

"How can we not be in the mood?" Jimin said, getting comfortable on Youngi's lap

"After looking at you two" Namjoon answered, after they were too much even for him.

Jin meanwhile ordered their pizza, which shortly arrived.

After tipping the delivery girl, they all sat Infront of the TV, talking.

Without his friends noticing, Taehyung took the slice he held, not eaten, with him to the kitchen and threw it into the trash.

When he came back Hobi asked him where he was, he said he just went to drink a cup of water. He didn't want them to worry. He wasn't even hungry.

Or at least that was what he told himself.

After everyone finished eating, he coughed, trying to get their attention.

"Yes Tae-Tae?" Jin asked him

"Well, you all know that tomorrow my new roommate is coming, right?"

"We do. Do you know that?" Jimin said, causing the younger's eyes to roll.

"Very funny Jimin" he continued "anyway, I was wondering, if you guys will be okay with him, you know, joining us" he finished with not much confidence.

"Sure. As long as he's the one sitting on the floor, cause my butt won't be able to handle that". Hobi said, and the others agreed.

"Good. So how about you'll come to my, I mean our apartment for movie night this weekend? Jimin and Youngi I know it was supposed to be at your place but"

"It's okay, we were planning on canceling and moving it to your place at the last minute anyway," Youngi said with a smile.

"Wonderful. Now, who wants to lose to me in Mario kart?" Taehyung asked his friends.

♡

They played until one am. By then, Hobi was laying on the couch, barely moving, Jimin was sleeping on Youngi's lap whose owner was asleep as well. Even Jin was starting to get tired.

Taehyung, who wasn't that sleepy, decided to go home instead of sleeping over like the rest of the group. After all, his new roommate is coming tomorrow.

On his way home, he couldn't help but think about the little pizza thing that happened. He didn't really know what made him do that, but what was really bothering him was that he wanted to do that.

His relationship with food was never healthy. He sometimes would eat non-stop, until he couldn't anymore. And sometimes, he would starve himself.

One time, he didn't eat for 27 hours. Only drank water, and even that was too much if you'd ask him.

Why would he do that? It wasn't because he didn't like the food, he had nothing against it, or eating. He had a problem with the effects of those on his body. He preferred the way he looked without eating more than what he looked with.

Taehyung never loved his body very much . But there was something that made it a bit worse lately. Taehyung never had a relationship. He had nothing. No one ever hitted on him, asked him out. Hack, he didn't even have his first kiss.

And seeing all his friends finding love made him so happy, but also made that little voice in his head to ask "why don't I have this? What's wrong with me?"

He didn't believe someone would find him attractive. That someone would ever want to be with him. To be his boyfriend.

He walked into his apartment, putting the keys on the coffee table and went to his room. He laid there on the bed for a while, thinking about his life until he finally fell asleep.

A/N

Hey everyone

I know that this is stuff that is hard to read (sorry for that) , but it's even harder to go through that. Especially without telling anyone. I know that well. That's why I wanted to let you know you can always write me, and I'll try to help as much as I can. Or even if you just want to get something of your chaste. I'm here.

Don't deal with this alone.

Anyways, how do you like the story so far?

Love you all <3