Nothing I Can Say

Chapter Six

"Hey, Bella. It's Luke. The nurse said you might be able to hear me, so... I'm sorry I haven't been in sooner, I just... Anyway, I miss you. Troupe One isn't the same without you. We miss your energy. Please come back soon."

The voice sighs. It's a comforting voice. It sounds familiar. I feel safe with that voice. Safe in this world that I don't know.

"I'm going to read you your favourite book. Hopefully that will help bring you back to us. I'll... I'll be here as much as I can from now on. Okay, here goes. When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. My finger's stretch out, seeking Prim's warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover..."

The voice drifts away, and I fade back into nothingness. But not before a memory visualises in my mind. A warm night. A picnic blanket. Candles. Food. Laughter. A boy with wavy dark hair sits next to me, holding my hand. It's the familiar, comforting voice. He's saying something, light-heartedly arguing with me.

"I don't see how you think The Hunger Games is better. Divergent has a far superior plot line, and not to mention an amazing power couple."

I am about to fire back a retort, but the scene is gone. And I am gone.

I heard a knock on my door from where I'm waiting on the couch. Zoe and Ollie were beside me, watching the telly. Alesha was in the armchair on her phone. I shot up from my seat and grab my bag.

"Okay, I'm off. Thanks, Alesha. Bye!" I ran out of the room before any of them could stop me. I flung open the front door and found a grinning Luke clutching a huge picnic basket.

"Hey! Let's go!" Luke grabbed my hand and led me down the drive. He had told me to dress warmly for this evening, so I was wearing jeans, a knitted jumper and a beanie. My hair was out long and straight, flowing free from its dance bun.

Luke led me down the street from my house, past the playground and towards the forest. We ran, jumped, and spun down the paths, laughing until we couldn't breathe. He finally set down his basket on the edge of the trees, looking out from the top of the hill at the rest of the park. A picnic in the park. I smiled. "It's perfect, Luke!"

He smiled his adorable lopsided grin that I loved. I helped him set out plates of falafel burgers, macarons, strawberries, chocolate, and even candles! We talked about anything and everything. I learned that he loved to cook, that he often made dinner for his family. He loved reading, especially dystopian stories. And he loved the Divergent series better than The Hunger Games!

"But the third book has such a sad ending!" I argued.

"Okay, but at least the power couple stay together right up until the end!" I rolled my eyes at that. Who knew Luke was such a romantic?

The conversation turned more serious after we had finished eating. We lay down on the picnic blanket, and I used his arm as a pillow. I was considering whether or not to tell him about my messed up family. Even Seb didn't know the full story. The only people who really knew were Jess and Emily.

Luke told me about how his younger brother died a few years ago from cancer. I turned my head so that it was resting on his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Luke."

He sighed. "My Mum and Dad haven't been very close since then. I just want to find a way to bring us all back together again. I try to create family situations, but... it's like they love nobody anymore. Not each other, and certainly not me. They loved Charlie the best. I was always the disappointment."

I looked into his gorgeous eyes. They were such a dark blue they looked like the ocean at night. "You are not a disappointment. Not to me," I said. I lightly kissed his lips.

"Tell me about your family?" He smiled.

I took a deep breath. I already knew I could trust Luke. But how much would be too heavy for a first date?

"My family isn't so great. My parents recently told me they were splitting up. So yeah, I know what it's like to have a messed up family." I laughed, but it was a sarcastic laugh, not one full of joy.

Luke squeezed my arm.

"I... I actually had a run-in with my father as he was leaving yesterday after I came home from dance. He has this way of seeming like the best person in the world in one moment. I almost believed that he loved me. But I should have been more clever. He was... all this time he had another woman..." my voice broke and I couldn't look at Luke any longer. I turned away and let a tear roll down my cheek.

Deep breaths, Isabella. You can trust Luke. He cares about you. But the truth was, I hadn't told anybody that Dad had been cheating on us. I had been home with the children all day, and I hadn't even wanted to call my girlfriends.

I felt the boy lying next to me shift on the blanket. Suddenly strong arms were wrapped around me, warm breath fluttering by my ear. All of a sudden it was hard to think of anything else.

Luke didn't say anything, but I didn't need or want him to. It was enough to be tangled in his arms, staring at the stars in the sky, listening to the steady breathing of the boy I was falling in love with.