Nothing I Can Say

Chapter Twelve

"Hey, it's me again. Your mum's down at the café. I'm not going to read you any more of The Hunger Games, Bella. It sounds selfish, but it just... it just makes me miss you more."

A pause. The next time I hear the voice, it's full of emotion. "Bella, I can't do this without you. Dance, my family, it's too much. I need you back."

I must comfort him. I don't want him to be sad. He needs me. I need to come back. I have had more than enough time down here. I can't stand upsetting these people. I have to let him know I'm here. I'm trying, I'm trying.

It's not working.

And then suddenly...

A gasp. "Bella? Bella! You... you're..."

"Lucas?"

"Oh, Ms Carson! Bella... she's squeezing my hand!"

"She is?"

"I was holding her hand, asking her to come back and she started squeezing back!"

"Oh, my dear boy."

"What? Surely this means she is coming back to us?"

"I... she moved her hand away from me the other day. I asked the nurses, they said it didn't mean anything, but... No, I refuse to believe it, Lucas. I know she's in there, fighting."

A kiss to my forehead. I don't want to give them false hope. I must come back.

Somehow, I will find a way.

"Nine, ten, eleven... twelve! Nice!" Emily exclaimed. We had arrived at the arena and were waiting in the foyer for our tech run. Bored, Noah had challenged Seb to a pirouette-off. Being the competitive person he was, Seb had gladly accepted. Now he clapped at Noah, slowly and sarcastically.

"Beat that," Noah challenged.

"Gladly!" Seb retorted. He prepared, and he was off. Turning, turning... he got to seventeen pirouettes before his balance gave out.

"Well, we have a clear winner!" Emily announced.

"Good one, Seb." At least Noah wasn't a sore loser.

"I told you, didn't I? Bella you should be taking notes – ready for your solo tomorrow."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. I had a small solo during the bridge of our dance, one which involved turning. I was ready, I could do those turns in my sleep.

The door to the audience opened, and a man dressed in black and a headset beckoned to us. "Summersnow?"

"Yes," I replied.

"You have ten minutes, come on in."

"Okay, everyone. Our performance is tomorrow, and I think we are ready. I want you to relax tonight. Go out to dinner, get a lot of sleep, and meet in the foyer ready to leave for the venue at 8am please, since our briefing is at 8:30." Miss Eliza told us. She left, and Luke grabbed my hand.

"What are we doing?"

"I honestly don't mind, it's up to you," I smiled.

"Well, let's make the most of us being away from our families and go out."

"That sounds-" I was interrupted by Jess yelling at us.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Luke and I rolled our eyes.

"Yes?" I said.

"Most of us are going to the sushi train around the corner from here, are you coming?"

I exchanged a glance with Luke. We would have some time together later. "Okay, sounds good."

I ended up in a booth with Jess, Emily, Luke, Josh, and Seb. Rosanne had gone off on her own, muttering about meeting up with her old team. I just shrugged. I wasn't worried about her revealing anything important about it to her old studio – she was a competitive person, and she wouldn't do anything to stop herself from winning.

After an hour at the sushi train, the others decided to go back to the hotel to rest before our day tomorrow. While we were all filing out the door to the restaurant, I grabbed Luke's hand and pulled him away from the group. We slipped away undetected, and I led him around the corner to a busy street.

"Where are we going?" he laughed.

I spotted a flashing neon sign ahead, displaying the word Gelato. "There."

The inside was painted black with neon lighting, and the workers were dressed in black with glow sticks decorating their arms and legs. The gelato overflowed the big tin bins they were scooped from, and the booths were full to the max with customers. The chatter and laughter was deafening. I took a deep breath. The air could only be described as warm and sweet. I loved it.

Luke ordered raspberry and dark chocolate swirl, and I got a scoop of pistachio. We wandered around with our cones until we found a small nook filled with bean bags and an old-fashioned television screen lighting up the area. It was well hidden from the rest of the place, so it was empty when Luke and I ducked in.

We talked for a while, light and easy conversation. I loved spending time with him – he could always make me laugh, and he just generally made me feel lighter whenever I was around him.

"Excited for our duet tomorrow?" I asked.

"Absolutely. I've loved working with you. Although, I must admit, I expected your mind to be more on your solo."

"It's only a small solo, Luke. Not a huge deal, just some leaps and turns."

He smiled. "You got it because you're the best, Bella. I'm so proud of you."

I sighed. His words were meant in the kindest way possible, but I hated being compared to the other dancers. We were in this troupe, at the studio for a reason – we were all talented. I didn't feel like I deserved a solo more than anyone else. I knew others, like Rosanne, would kill for my spot in the dance. But then again, I did love having the spotlight on me. That moment when you are sharing the thing you love most with 3000 other people... I got butterflies just thinking about it.

We took our time getting back to the hotel, laughing, kissing, and just enjoying our time together. When I eventually got back to the room I was sharing with Jess, Emily and a girl called Amelie, I found the girls half-asleep in their pyjamas, watching Bridesmaids.

"You all look like you should be in bed," I laughed.

"We couldn't!" Emily jumped up. "We were waiting for you! One minute you were beside us, the next we were back here and neither you nor Luke were anywhere to be found! Benny was going nuts."

"Tell us everything," Jess commanded.

I laughed again at sat down beside Amelie. "Nothing major, we just went for gelato."

Emily scoffed. "Nothing major. Yeah, right."

"I'm serious!"

"Sure, sure," Amelie laughed.

I smiled. "I need to rest before our performance tomorrow. Goodnight, everyone."

Amelie hopped off Emily's bed. "Me too. Goodnight."

Jess did the same, but Emily pouted and stayed where she was. "I'm not going to be able to sleep now! Especially not with everything going on tomorrow!"

"Goodnight, Emily." Jess said.

"But-"

"Goodnight!"

Eventually, with a lot of grumbling, Emily got under the covers and closed her eyes. Two minutes later loud snoring was heard. Jess groaned. "Seriously? I forgot how loud she snores."

Amelie giggled and put her pillow over her head. I slipped in my earphones, and fell asleep to the comforting sound of Taylor Swift. Tomorrow was going to be great.