Nothing I Can Say

Chapter Eleven

"Nurse? Nurse! Nurse, come quickly!"

"Ma'am? What's wrong?"

"She- her- Bella..."

"Ms Carson?"

"Her... her hand moved, Nurse! I touched her hand and she... she moved it away from me!"

A sigh. "Unfortunately Ms Carson, that doesn't necessarily mean anything."

"No, you don't understand! I usually hold her hand as I sit with her and she doesn't do anything, but she moved it today! I'm telling you, she's waking up!"

"Ms Carson, there are many examples of coma patients who might move their fingers a little, a tear might fall down their cheek, but it usually doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

Footsteps. Squeaky shoes.

A sigh. "Oh, Bella. I just know you're in there. Please, please come back to me, my daughter. You won't have any responsibilities coming back- I am the mother, I need to look after my children. And I can. You will see when you wake up. Please come back to me."

The Nurse is wrong. I am trying to wake up. I'm doing my best. But my best isn't enough.

It had been six weeks since Dad left. School holidays had officially begun, two weeks of relaxed bliss. Ollie was much more comfortable at home now that school wasn't a part of his daily routine, and even Zoe had calmed down since Alesha had been home a little more. Mum was still distant, but that wasn't anything new. I didn't think that was ever going to change.

Dance Nationals were tomorrow. Our group dance was perfect, the duet section between Luke and I polished. Rosanne was still flirtatious towards Luke and frosty to everyone else, but I always brushed it off. I didn't need to worry about her, she was harmless in the long run.

Speaking of Luke, we were stronger than ever. We had bonded over so many things, and I loved every minute I was around him. Jess, Emily, and Seb constantly teased me about him, but I knew they loved seeing me happy and less worried.

I was in my room, packing my suitcase for Nationals, when Alesha came in. We were going out of town, six hours in the van to get to the venue. Go ahead, call me strange, but I was excited. I loved the people I danced with and was excited to spend some time away from home.

"It's only three nights, Isabella. Even I don't pack that many outfits for that long."

I rolled my eyes at Alesha's remark. "These aren't just outfits. These are dance shoes, costumes, stage make up... it doesn't matter. Hey, thanks for agreeing to stay home this weekend. Zoe and Ollie really listen to you, I know I can count on you to keep them in line."

"Yeah, well, someone needs to look after them. Mum's hopeless.

"I know."

Alesha studied me. I didn't expect her to thank me for looking after the children all the time. It was just what I did, without complaint. Nobody else was around, so I had to. I forced my suitcase shut and slid into bed, facing away from my sister. I knew my mind would be too busy for real sleep, but I needed as much as I could get.

"You're a cool person you know, Isabella. I know you're always busy with dance and Zoe and Ollie, but somehow you always handle it. I don't know how."

I bit my lip, and a tear leaked from my eye. I didn't have the strength to reply.

Alesha stayed up for a while with the light on, but I didn't mind. It was nice to have her here.

"Excited, Bella?" Luke clearly was. His eyes were bright and he was smiling his signature grin.

I laughed and sat down beside him. "Very."

"Good. We're going to have the best time!"

I laughed again and thought back to this morning. My family had all sent me off with a smile and a wave, so I was happy. Luke was right, this trip was going to be great.

I heard the sound of Seb's Bluetooth speaker starting up, and twisted in my seat to face him. "No folk music."

"But-"

"No. Nobody likes it, Seb!"

Seb grumbled as the others around us agreed. Eventually he put on some songs everyone knew, and we had a good sing-along for a while. Eventually people began to quieten down, and the tiredness overwhelmed me from the lack of sleep the night before. I lay my head on Luke's shoulder and closed my eyes, trying to ignore Rosanne's stare burning into me from across the aisle.