On the Petals of a Flower, I found something that does not belong to me

16

For everyone who should take care of themselves and ask for help when in need for some.

 After some reading -the reading was done by Lan Xichen, not me- we decided to rest. It was about noon and the sun was high. Lan Xichen led me to a hall where there was food.

 "Thank you very much, but I don't want to eat. I'm tired. Can I rest?" I said. It was true. I had no appetite. Not when I had to go back. Not when my grandfather would easily chop my head off if he knew I wasn't home.

 "Are you okay? Do you want me to bring some food to the room where you will stay?" he asked.

 I looked at him. A look of concern appeared in his eyes.

 "No, thanks. Maybe later if I'm hungry I can go eat alone. At the moment I would like to spend some time alone."

 Lan Xichen nodded. Compassion now appeared in my eyes. I knew he would feel sorry for me and that I seemed pathetic. But I was already tired. And it was the fourth day.

 "Okay," he said and called a disciple. He then instructed him to take me to a room.

 When I closed the door from the room behind me, I let my body slide on the floor and my back against the door, which was even colder than the floor.

 I didn't look at the room. I didn't care. I looked in front of me in the void. My mind was empty.

 Ah. How nice it would be just not to exist.

Knock Knock.

 I got up and corrected my clothes a little. Then I hesitantly opened the door.

 I exhaled. "What do you want here? I have no time for fun" I put my hands on my waist.

 Lan Shizui and Lan Jingyi looked at me from the other side. In their hands they were holding some trays with food on them.

 "Zewu Jun told us to bring you food. It would be good to replenish your strength, Maiden Charlie," Shizui said politely.

 "It was not that we wanted to bring you food by ourselves. You act like Lan Qiren forced you to copy all the rules over twenty times. Why don't you have an appetite to eat?" Jingyi said.

 I sighed. My gaze fell on the gap behind them.

 Maybe they were right. I had started killing someone like that.

 I had started killing myself.

 I opened the door slightly. "Come in."

 The two boys came in and left the trays on a small table. For the first time I noticed the room. Before, I didn't care. Not that I cared now. But it was too early for me to lose hope. I had to gather my courage. I still had a week and a half ahead of me.

 I sat at the table and looked at the food in front of me. It was different from Yunmeng's. But maybe it was more to my taste.

 "Does it have fish inside?" I asked.

 "No. Zewu Jun told us not to have fish. He explained to us that you are allergic," Shizui explained.

 Lan Jingyi crossed his arms over his chest. "Who is allergic to fish? It's the first time I hear it. You are very strange."

 I grabbed the two sticks in front of me and looked at them.

 Perfect. I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. In Yunmeng I ate soups, which I either drank or had spoons.

 I tried to catch something.

Flop.

 The piece fell back into the plate.