Much Ado About Pudding

Act II, Scene I

A sunny early morning outside in the Courtyard before classes.

Enter ROBYN and SERENA. ROBYN munches on a dry snack while SERENA is watching.

SERENA: Robyn, don't you ever get irritated by the sound of your own chewing? (Beat) You have to stop worrying. Help me help you get what you want.  We just need an intimate friend is all.

ROBYN: Or maybe 'intimate friend' enough that I wrap my arms around her and dig my nose into her neck -- God! Her face is so beautiful it's scary! (Strokes Serena's hair) I scare myself sometimes. Me and my unbridled passions. You know what's scarier?

SERENA: What.

ROBYN: Her thinking that we're hitting on her.

SERENA: She doesn't even know us. We're just the hicks who complimented her hair. And stared a little. Let's downplay it. Robyn, I can't think when you're trembling like this.

ROBYN: It's just part of protocol. 9:30, oh, rue the day when I was born! Shall we?

SERENA: Nah. Five more minutes, five more minutes.

ROBYN: But it'll take you 5 to get to the library!

Library background lights up and into focus as Serena acts out their plan.

Enter THE GIRL and THE LOVER.

SERENA: Okay, we get to the same table as we did last week at 9:30. We sit down right across them. Pay no attention, as much as you wanna snort, sniffle and giggle. We're gonna open and hide behind our laptop. Then plug in the earphones – or rather, don't – we're pretending to forget as we're swiping through the heavy metal playlist because our music taste is so damn cool and we need them to HEAR IT!!!

Loud music bursts through laptop.

THE GIRL taps SERENA wrist.

SERENA: (as ROBYN) Oh!!! Heheh...Hi. Sorry. This happens all the time to me. Do you like metal? Oh, me too! That's Flyleaf – but then, I guess you already knew. What's your name? Oh, what a beautiful name! I'm Robyn.

ROBYN: Flyleaf? Seriously?

Background fades as both come back to reality.

SERENA: Gah, I dunno! It's the best I got.

ROBYN: What if The Girl gets annoyed by it?

SERENA: Everybody's been so nice in Orange County – you gotta be if you live in such a hot area. It's not like The Girl knows that you wanna talk to her. Listen, listen: talk to her a just little bit? Just enough to get your bearings. Not enough that you detract her from THE BOY, though.

ROBYN: (packing up) So many rules. Don't bother me, I'm trying to gain chutzpa.

SERENA: Where's your spirit stone?

ROBYN: Over here. (Holds out stone)

SERENA: Put it away! (Scoffs)

They exit.

Blackout.