The drunken ones choose their soulmates the exact same moment the awaken sobers wait for their soulmate to pass by them.
One of them was drunk, and other was way too sober to feel anything. Rafe had been there through all of it. He'd heard everything, history was repeating itself, and when that happens, someone gives up the ghost. Who's next? thought Dune. It's either one of us, or both of us. They synced together like fire on fire, no one knows the severity of a blaze unless they're covered in gasoline. The desire hiding underneath their skins, they could numb each other out with one sin and the wounds won't heal, not even with a kiss under the moonlight.
He offered his hand out for her, she reluctantly accepted. It's been two years since she'd been on this boat. The last time she was there, a hand was on her throat, having her lose touch with the softness of air. Her soul was begging her to stay, for her soul if it left her body, the flare ness of the homeless would never be seen, like being placed in the margin. The last time she was there, someone's initial was carved on her thigh, ink was diluted in water, and whispers were a killer's love language.
"I totally understand why being here scares you, it reminds you of the good old days, trust me I recall them too."
"What do you want from me?" asked Dune, knuckles so white you could see her bones, about to flee after being under her skin for way too long. He survived living on wicked games, every wicked game required dancing with the devil. His demons and her dance skills, two enemies turned into allies.
"The country club, I want it all. I want you, all of you. I want your atoms to intertwine with mine, I want you to design me a jacket just like yours so we can walk together reflecting the two sides of the moon."
"I believe the moon hates us, and it hates us because one side of the moon cannot survive living off a one sided relationship where it knows the other hates it."
"I never hated you, you know that." he said, afraid of letting go off her hand, thinking that if the distance grew between their hands, he'll end up being alone. Loneliness kills more than being alone. Maturing happens when normalizing being alone, while self destruction happens when a person seeks loneliness as an excuse, unscripted excuses that'll save him every time.
They were falling into the undertone of danger, but danger was just a milestone, and they have the rest of the road to finish. Alone or together, eventually, one of them will have to bury the other.
"But I do, seeing you makes me choke on my own breath. I hated you for never seeing me, for always seeing the shadow right next to me. I hated you so much that I saw my youth in you. My youth and my innocence and my joy were never yours, they were the property of a heart-full young blonde boy who I longer recognize anymore. Two years later and you're the same person, you never changed. People like you never change, I know, because every time I look into your eyes my stomach twists. You breathe in order to prove that death can be so serene."
Throwing the jacket at him, she stood numb and tall, like a rose on a deathbed. No matter how many times you'll water it, it won't rise back up. He can have the country club, he can have the jacket she made without having to make a new one. The whole thought of creating a secret society out of envy, haunts her with regret. She should've waited for her soulmate to pass by her, she should've stayed one more hour on the dock, she should've danced with every stranger at every midsummer party until she found him. It has always been like this, specially for those don't wait, they get trapped in between two enclosing walls.
She was trapped. Trapped between the warmth of Rafe's breath on her skin and the iciness of the summer breeze. She hated summer with all her heart, for in summer, strangers promise each other eternity forgetting that summer happens only once a year. Paranoid, in a battle with pulling away, they weren't supposed to be this close.
"Wanna know something? I learned the serenity of death when I saw you smile from ear to ear that day, remember?" His lips brushed against her ear, leaving a gentle peck after every whisper. He knew what keeps her terrified, knowing what runs through her veins, he's been there. The night before the massacre, the innocent goes down for the brutal to thrive. She couldn't help but smile, smiling so hard crystal clear tears fell down her cheeks.
"Take a look at my face, how easy does it look for me to smile?"
If there'd been a truce between the drought of the desert and the heavy pouring of the rain, they'd stand in the middle. Heads held high in the midst of a crisis. Their dreams were violent, waking up every day on a cliffhanger, who'd be there to tie the knots?
One by one, she took the jacket back from him, went inside the boat and opened Rose's emergency drawers. She found what she needed for embroidery. All she needed was two strands of embroidery floss, she went with polyester, the only thing she could find. She threaded the floss into the needle and tied two ends of the floss. He watched her intently, focusing on her fingers. The way they moved swiftly with the needle, like a puppet master. They sat under the fading moonlight, even if the moon loved the sun so much that sometimes it cannot help leaving it on its own. A love so cosmic required sacrifice.
"Would you like to watch the sunrise together?" asked Rafe, gliding a spare needle he had along her collarbones.
"You and I remain at war, but a tradition is a tradition."
They smiled at each other. While the drunken one chose his soulmate, the sober one no longer believed in having one.
YOU ARE READING
COUNTRY CLUB
Fanfiction"Before you could break my heart, it'll be at your step, in pieces, right before you know it." Dune lives with several identities, one of them gave up the ghost, smeared Dune's hands in blood. Dune, is that her real name? What does she have to hide...
