COUNTRY CLUB

THIRTY THREE

Dear Dune,

I know you expected me to call you by your real name before one of us dies, but I couldn't. I couldn't lie anymore, even though it gave me butterflies, I always looked at you like a person i never knew. We've done a lot in a matter of weeks, you ruined every beautiful thing about paradise, you dug in dirt and ran it over your teeth; that damned oath. Do you i used to recite it underneath my breath all the time? I wouldn't be able to sleep, sometimes I would go and take a look at the church we met the devil in, the last time i went there, Ward tried burning me in it. Why? because I'm the disgrace that will never bring his ideal sister back to the family, nor bing his father's dreams come true. I grew up giving scars, heck, even when i met the love of my life i scarred a flower by picking it petal by petal and hiding them in her hair. Her hair wasn't as soft yours, her lips weren't as warm as yours and her breath was colder than a frozen-rage. I'd be lying if I said that kissing her didn't feel like heaven, but heaven is not where i belong. When I saw you at Barry's the day you came back, my heart smiled, for I knew paradise would fall on its knees. But guess what? it's us who busted our kneecaps, chased the unknown, stabbed my father to death. You broke the security cameras, giving me full access to rip my father's skin off his bones, you wanted it as much as I did. I'd be lying if I said that because of you, I had the balls to do it, otherwise I would've hid under that bed until he comes and kills me. Ward may have faked his death before, yet no one would ever believe that i lost my father's non-beating heart somewhere in the sea. You're probably wonder were I got the ink and paper to write this, I wish i could tell you, everything between a murderer and his mind stays confidential. I'm going to find us a place, for you and I to start over. We deserve it, we'll change our names and if you want I will call you by your name, Unela, sweet as poison. Suffocation, when it digs too deep into my lungs, i feel like giving up. We can't give up, I don't know where I am going; you have to stay put. For your sake and mine, i ruined your life, and I've never seen anyone who would sacrifice everything for me. I was raised deserving little to nothing, but with you I learned that i deserve the vastness of this world, the depth of the sea, the warmth of the sun, and the love of the moon. You are everything I wished for, even if the idea of loving you never passed by my shoulders, you've always been there, yet I never acknowledged your existence. You were swallowing yourself, always preferred staying in the back, I wish i knew the wickedness of your mind earlier. I'm rambling now love, but now you are the empress of this island. I want you to keep whispering the oath underneath your breath, let your breath pave its way to cross the sea separating us. I'll breathe you in until we meet again. We will meet again, Unela.

love,

Your partner in crime, RC

Tears fell down her face, she's drowning herself in her tears. That's why the island grew colder then, she thought. She woke up to a map of words smudged in ink and crumbled paper. Where did he find this? sank deeper in her thoughts, fear rushed in. Her heart throbbed, messing with the flow of the sea. She watched the waves rip each other's hair out, including hers. He's gone, my prince, my partner in crime, left me as if I am nothing. Who's to blame? Who's to hate? She hated herself to love him, and he left the ashes her love lying to next to her, some of it got buried in the sand, some was thrown for the moon to catch and hoarder. She looked at the sky, cursing herself, she missed the explosion of the paralyzed star. They were supposed to watch it together, but he kissed her until she fell asleep and watched it all by himself. He covered her ears, then remembered that stars when explode, they scream silently. 

That's when he seized the opportunity to write the letter, swim his way back. Back where? Every place they knew turned its back on them, blocking its borders and shutting every door in their face. Where could he go? she thought, he won't leave me here all on my own. Her mind stood in her way, turning her head to the other side of the island, proving her wrong. "Rafe," she whispered, then the whisper turned into a scream, a scream turned into a cry. 

"I'm sorry," he mouthed as he watched the world fall from her eyes, burn into ashes and dissolve into the hidden layers of the earth. One foot forward, thousands of betrayals have just been made, she watched him put his hand into someone else's; a man who knows everything about the sea, knows enough on how to rescue a pair of blue eyes with a beating heart. No, she shook her head, disbelief curtained her eyes. "You can't just leave me here."

Racing with the wind, she ripped the letter into pieces and ran towards him. Too quick that she curled her first around his shirt, pulling him backwards. Rafe turned around to meet her eyes, red threads reached for his blue irises, holding into them for dear life. "What are you doing? That's how you treat me after everything I've done to you? You embark on a boat without thinking of me? You write me a letter, calling me by my own name thinking I'd wait ten thousand more years on my knees for you? Who do you think you are?"

"One of us has to live."

"So you choose to leave me here, die within my skin while you continue what your father couldn't do?"  she screamed, pushing him making him fall into the water. Never trust the ones who save you from death, you never know when they gift it back to you, the same way you survived.  "The falls i took for you, God only knows how many times i nearly broke my neck for you, I built a catastrophe out of your debris  to ensure your legacy stays alive. A legacy coated in filth, poison and  blood. Nothing's ever been enough for you, huh?"

She kneeled down, cupped his face with her fingers, tugging with force until her nails scratched his cheeks. A tear rolled down her cheeks, he never loved me, i just helped him achieve what he wanted.  "You never gave me a rose, but i always pretended that you did. I kissed every petal until they died, convinced myself that the lifespan of a plant could never determine how much I love you. I never expected myself to rely on you, you were one hell of a valentine, my only valentine." 

"Why are you talking like I'm never coming back?" he asked, pulling away from grip. He let the question simmer over her lips as he leaned in and kissed her, his eyes remained wide open. She glued her eyes to the ship with her mouth on his, they're watching too. We meet again, she thought. 

"Those you forgive always come back," she breathed for air, "I don't think I'm one of the forgiven." 

"This may be our chance to start over, you always want things the hard way. You keep reminding how you're supposed to die for me, crown me and love me. You keep telling me that everything will be fine but we're in the middle of the nowhere, in a spit of a land. Now that I am trying to get us out of here, I'm not doing this for me. If you could mute these stupid voices inside your head, everything would be just fine."

"So it's my delusions that are ruining your plans? If you're doing this for us  you would've at least waken me up instead of letting me sleep. I was having a nightmare, that you turned your back on me. Please don't go, Rafe." she begged, didn't get a response in return. He ran towards the ship and wrapped himself around the rope, yelled at the man to pull him immediately. Dune followed him, reached for the rope and began climbing it herself, fighting with gravity. 

"Cut the rope," Rafe whispered into the man's ear after he fell on his knees, there's nothing worth looking back at.