*Ash, Jack and Madame LeGrange are sitting at a round table, it's very dark except for a few candles. There's a crystal ball in the middle, Madame LeGrange has her eyes closed and is humming*
Jack: *whispering* You sure about this Ash?
Ash: *whispering* Of course, I mean she knew my name despite never seeing me before and me being from a different time, so she's gotta be psychic! Besides, she's hot so that's a good sign.
Jack: sigh...
Madame LeGrange: Silence, s'il vous plaît?
Jack: Yes ma'am.
Ash: Oh of course! Absolutely, I know when to shut up when I'm told, if it's silence you want you got it, yessiree nothing coming from—
Jack: *nudges Ash*
Ash: right. *shuts up*
Madame LeGrange: *giggles then goes back to consulting her crystal ball. A few minutes later, she speaks up*
Madame LeGrange: Mr. Williams?
Ash and Jack: Yes?
Madame LeGrange: Ze handsome one.
Ash and Jack: ...yes?
Madame LeGrange: Ze one handed one.
Ash: Present! *holds up his stump*
Madame LeGrange: I see you going to a cabin with your friends...but unleashing unspeakable evil in the process.
Ash: On accident.
Madame LeGrange: Yes, on accident. And I see you fighting it over ze course of two nights, but at a terrible price.
Ash: Lost a lot of great people that day. And my good hand.
Madame LeGrange: I also see you soon after fighting alongside knights and kings.
Jack: ...who ARE you?
Ash: I'll explain later. Alright sweetheart skip to the good part, how do I get home?
Madame LeGrange: In order to send you home, I will need ze Necronomicon.
Ash: Dammit! It's in my time!
Madame LeGrange: Yes...but zis is around 160 years before your time. And at zis time, I have it in my possession.
Ash: Oh wonderful!
Madame LeGrange: But I will require somesing else...
Ash: Oh anything! You name it!
Madame LeGrange: Ze blood of a creature risen from ze depths of hell.
Ash and Jack: ...
Madame LeGrange: Do not fret. For zere is one near.
Jack: The one hurting our cattle!
Ash: I knew there was something off about those eyes, it's a deadite creature! *turns to Jack* Well Gramps, guess you're getting my help to beat that thing after all!
Jack: Can you please stop callin' me Gramps?
Madame LeGrange: You are his Great-great-grandfather, Marshal.
Jack: ...oh. Well still!
Ash: Alright Gramps I'll quit with it. Now let's head back to town! I need a drink and the help of a certain someone...
To be continued...
YOU ARE READING
Evil Dead Adventures
FanfictionIn the 80s, Ash Williams was flung into the year 1300 A.D. where he saved a kingdom from the Army of Darkness, after which he was given a potion that would make him sleep for 600 years and wake up back in his own time. But Ash slept too long and wok...