*Ash, Jack and Benny are being chased by a mob of living cacti*
Jack: Y'know, when you said you had a plan I thought you had something different in mind!
Ash: Cool your jets Gramps, unless you wanna fight those things?
Jack: Not particularly.
Ash: Didn't think so...
*Up ahead, lightning strikes a tree in their path*
Ash: Alright I have a better idea!
*Before it's completely engulfed in flames, Ash chops the tree down, and the cacti run right into it, catching fire*
Ash: Fresh on the barbecue!
*As they run through a field, they take refuge in a nearby log cabin*
Benny: Boy that was a close one!
*Something is traveling fast through the desert to them*
*Ash is very nervous*
*It's getting closer....
Jack: You alright Ash?
*Closer...*
Ash: I don't do well in cabins.
*Closer..*
Jack: Whadaya mean?
*Closer.*
Ash: Had a bad run in at one—
SLAM!
*It knocks everyone over*
Jack: What was that?
Benny: *looking in a mirror, suddenly his reflection reaches through and grabs his throat* Yaaaa!!!!
Jack: What?! But how is that possi—YIKES!!! *A moose head hanging above the fireplace grabs his shirt and pulls him up off his feet*
Ash: It looks like a demon smacked into the cabin and is possessing i—*he looks down, his evil hand is back*
Ash: YOU!
*The hand flips him off*
Ash: *grabs an axe* You and me got a score to settle, it ends here!
*The axe comes to life, it has a mouth with pointed teeth, it growls*
Ash: AAAAAAAAA!!!! *Throws it to the ground with a thud*
Axe: Ow.
Ash: Just gonna have to do this the old fashioned way! *Whips out his boomstick and shoots at the hand, it keeps scurrying away, it goes into a mouse hole*
Ash: Gentleman, it's about to get messy!
Jack: It ain't already?!
Ash: *Ash listens in the wall for the hand, then shoots where he hears it*
*The hole in the wall starts to bleed*
Ash: 3...2...1...BRLBRLBBRBRLFBRBRLRKRB
*Gallons and gallons of blood spray everything, knocking the evil Benny back into the mirror and causing the moose head to drop Jack*
Ash: It should stop soon!
*But the blood is still spraying everywhere, and now it's filling up the room*
Jack: It's not stopping!
Ash: I haven't been in this much blood since my ex's time of the mo—
*The door opens and everyone gets swept out of the cabin by the pool of blood*
Everyone: Whoooooaaaaa!!! *They roll out onto the ground*
*The door slams shut*
*There's a roar throughout the land, our three heroes glance at each other*
Benny: Is that—
Jack: Definitely.
*In the distance, the giant Deadite Lizard is heading straight for them*
Ash: Here we go...
To be continued
YOU ARE READING
Evil Dead Adventures
FanfictionIn the 80s, Ash Williams was flung into the year 1300 A.D. where he saved a kingdom from the Army of Darkness, after which he was given a potion that would make him sleep for 600 years and wake up back in his own time. But Ash slept too long and wok...
