NOTE: DON'T PLAY THE VIDEO UNTIL A CERTAIN POINT IN THE CHAPTER
*Ash and Katrina are keeping watch at the door*
Ash: *checking out an octagon shaped stone with an image of a rooster on it* Get a load of this! Huh. *pockets it*
A zombie furry breaks through the window, but Katrina skewers it with an antique fire poker*
Ash: Nice one.
*the area is mostly empty, so they chill for a sec*
Katrina: ...how is it that you've been missing for so long and yet you supposedly haven't aged?
Ash: Ah, talking about what Randolph said eh? Well it's a long story. So years ago my friends and I stopped in a cabin for the night on our way to a big trip in Jacksonville, Florida. And that's where we found the Necronomicon, the Book of the Damned, the one that Randolph's reading right now. We accidentally read some of it out loud and unleashed hell on ourselves! One by one, my friends, including my sister, were possessed by these demons called deadites. Sadly...*his face falls* I had to kill them. I was the only survivor. Then one of 'em actually got me for a sec. The moment that demonic thing flew right into my face, everything rewound for me. And soon, I was reliving the same night again! This time, it was just my girlfriend Linda who went with me and died. Then for about five minutes, I was possesed until the sun came up and burned out the evil! ...or something I don't know.
Then next thing I knew, it was night again, and I still had the cabin evil to deal with. My hand...*holds up his stump* it came to life and tried to kill me. So I cut it off. That's how I ended up with the chainsaw hand. Anyway, after reading from the book again to ward off all the evil, a time vortex opened up and sent to medieval times where I fought MORE deadites. A wizard enchanted my car to fly, and my chainsaw and boomstick to never run out of gas or ammo. Then he gave me a potion that would make sleep 700 years and wake in my own time...but I took too much and woke up in this time...
Katrina: ...Honestly if the apocalypse wasn't going on I'd probably think you were crazy.
Ash: It's ok. I still am. Sigh...*Katrina puts a hand on his shoulder, he takes it* thanks.
Katrina: Hm? I'm right here.
Ash: ...wha? *He looks over at the hand on his shoulder he's clasping...it's disembodied...and alive*
Katrina: *screams*
Ash: AAAA JESUS CHRIST! *he drops the hand* IT'S MY HAND!
*the hand flips him off*
Ash: Why you little--*shoots at it as it runs* See, this little bugger is somehow still alive and has been giving me trouble since I came to this time. But someday I'm gonna catch him! *chases after it, the hand has a sword*
Ash: Whoa now...easy buddy. *slowly backs away, the hand slowly inches towards him*
Ash: C'mon now hand! Think of all the fun we had together! ...if you know what I mean.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Katrina: ...ew.
Ash: *still backing away slowly...uh...*pulls out an umbrella* Ah-ha!
*soon, Ash and the hand are fencing. The hand with a sword, Ash with an umbrella*
*Katrina, not knowing what to do, throws a knife at the hand. She misses, and the hand runs away*
Ash: C'mon! We can't miss him!
Randolph: *runs in* Ash! Ash! Wonderful news! I found the passage! It's--HRGGGH! *the sword goes through his chest*
Katrina and Ash: No!
*the hand runs into a mouse hole after stabbing Randolph*
Randolph: *Starts to fall, Ash catches him*
Ash: Randolph buddy, stay with me.
Randolph: Ash...I found it. *pulls out a small piece of paper with the passage written on it*
Ash: Ah buddy you saved us all.
Randolph: It was...wonderful...to see you one last time my friend.
Ash: Aw Randolph you're gonna be ok buddy don't talk like that.
Randolph: No, no, it's alright Ash...my time has come...now go...read the passage...save...the...world...*and he takes his final breath, and dies*
Ash: ...*closes Randolph's eyes* Sleep well, buddy...*he gets up, angry*
Ash: I'm through playing games! *he marches toward the mouse hole, gets down and sticks his hand in there* Get outta there you little meat beater i'm gonna---YOWCH! *gets up and cowers, the bad hand walks out with a hammer*
Ash: That's it! *shoots at it, it runs back in, Ash listens in the wall for it, shoots it where he hears it* Ah ha!
*the hole in the wall bleeds*
Ash: Ah fuck. You seen that umbrella?
Katrina: No.
Ash: Goddammi---
*tons and tons of blood shoots out of the wall and at Ash and Katrina*
Ash: *covered in blood* I gotta stop doing that.
*the wall is destroyed, a hoard of zombie furries march in*
Zombie furries: Join us UwU!
Ash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
*they start to close in on him*
Ash: No. No. No.
Katrina: Ash!
YOU CAN PLAY THE VIDEO NOW, IT'S THE BACKGROUND MUSIC
*she tosses him the chainsaw, he jumps up and it lands on his stump*
Ash: Now. Let's dance.
*Ash slices and dices through the zombie furries to get to Katrina*
Ash: Here! Read the passage! *hands her the paper* I'll hold them off! *he continues to saw through the zombie furries as Katrina tries to read the passage*
Ash: Anytime, Katrina!
Katrina: Alright I got it! *starts reading*
*the zombie furries look over at her. Then they start walking towards her*
Ash: No! It's ME you want!
Katrina: Um...uh...
*they're closing in on her*
Katrina: Goddammit! *she crumples it up and tosses it to Ash* I'm sorry Ash!
*they close in on her, she screams as they attack*
Ash: KATRINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *he grabs the paper, uncrumples it and reads*
*a vortex, a blue spiral, just like the one at the cabin he saw all those years ago opens up, sucking all the furries in. Ash starts to get sucked in too.*
Ash: Oh no not again! *he grabs onto something, holding on for dear life, but it's not enough. His grip slips* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *he goes tumbling through the air, into the vortex*
TO BE CONTINUED
YOU ARE READING
Evil Dead Adventures
FanfictionIn the 80s, Ash Williams was flung into the year 1300 A.D. where he saved a kingdom from the Army of Darkness, after which he was given a potion that would make him sleep for 600 years and wake up back in his own time. But Ash slept too long and wok...
