*Ash and Jack, carrying a weakened Benny, arrive back in town. Madame LeGrange and a small group of officials are waiting for them.*
Madame LeGrange: Ah, héros courageux, have you defeated ze beast?
Jack: It didn't stand a chance. But Benny here is hurt. *they hand him over to a few men* take him to the doctor.
Madame LeGrange: And ze monster's blood? Have you brought some back?
Ash: Baby, I'm covered in it.
Madame LeGrange: Zat will do. *she collects some off of him into a vial*
Ash: And ah...*he gives back the flower pendant*
Madame LeGrange: Ah, sank you my dear. I hope it protected you well.
Jack: *calls out to town* Our monster is gone, the town is saved!
*the town cheers*
Jack: And now let's have a little hoedown to celebrate! Drinks on me!
*everyone cheers again*
*That night, there's a party out in a field. There's barrels of alcohol, campfires, food, and a band playing music as everyone has a square dance*
*Jack and Benny are dancing with their wives, albeit Benny is quite tired. Ash is dancing with Madame LeGrange*
The band:
Around your partner do-si-do
Around your partner here we go
Around your partner and you'll see
How much fun square dance can be.
Ash: *calls out* You know...
*Jack looks up*
Ash: Y'know Gramps, I always saw these in the movies—
Jack: The what?
Ash: They're like pictures that move and have sound, you guys'll love em! Anyway...I always saw these dances in the movies and I used to think they looked stupid! But now that I'm doing it...
Jack: Yeah? Whadaya think?
Ash: Well it's still stupid!
Jack: *confused*
Ash: But in a good way! Like, it's fun because it's stupid!
Jack: Ah I hear ya pardner! *he shrugs to his wife*
The band:
Now bow to your partner
And say hello
Madame LeGrange: *bows to Ash* Bonjour
Bow to your partner
And say hello
Ash: *bows to Madame LeGrange* Hello *he winks at her, she giggles*
*Benny is struggling to catch up with the dancing*
Jack: Say Benny, you don't look so good.
Benny: I'm fine Marshal. Just need a drink...
*his wife helps him over to the side*
The band:
Lock arms with your partner Now swing 'em round!
I said swing your partner
Around and round YEEHAW! Round and round
*Ash and Madame LeGrange swing*
Ash: Ha ha! I could get used to this!
*and at the end of the square dance, everyone forms two lines, everyone is across from their partner in the two lines, they clap as each pair comes together and skips down the path*
*Ash and Madame LeGrange are the last pair to skip down the path, they laugh as they do*
The band:
Now bow to your partner
And say "Thank you",
Ash: *bows to Madame LeGrange* Thank you
Bow to your partner
And say "Thank you" "Thank you"
Madame LeGrange: *bows to Ash* merci
The band:
Around your partner do-si-do
Around your partner here we go
Around your partner and you'll see
How much fun square dance can be.
How much fun square dance can be.
How much fun square dance can be!
*everyone goes to check on Benny, who's sitting up against a haystack*
Ash: Hey pal, you alright?
Benny: Ah don't worry about ol' Benny. I'll be back up soon. Go have your fun! Sounds like they got the slow dancin' comin' on. And Ash! *pulls him close* I sees the way you lookin' at the gypsy lady, you make that move or I swear I'll tie a rope around your leg, tie ya to the end o' my horse, and send him on his way ya hear me?
Ash: Loud and clear pal. You rest up.
Benny: Will do...will do...*he bows his head, his wife puts a hand on his back*
And so....
*everyone is slow dancing*
The band:
Let me tell you, buddy
There's a faster gun
Coming over yonder
When tomorrow comes
Let me tell you, buddy
And it won't be long
'Til you find yourself singing
Your last cowboy song
Yippee-ki-iy-ay
When the round-up ends
Yippee-ki-iy-ay
And the campfire dims
Yippee-ki-iy-ay
He shouts and he sings
When a cowboy trades his spurs for wings
*Ash is of course dancing with Madame LeGrange*
Madame LeGrange: I shall have zat way home ready for you tomorrow, Ash.
Ash: Ah that's great Madame, you're too kind.
Madame LeGrange: Please Ash, you can call me Fifi.
Ash: Fifi huh? I like it.
Madame LeGrange: I must say zo, you shall be missed greatly. You did zis town a wonderful deed today.
Ash: Well, some drop dead gorgeous gypsy with a rockin' bod and a sexy French accent told me I had to so...
Madame LeGrange: *giggles* Well how else would she get ze blood to send ze handsome, muscular, chiseled chin man home?
Ash: Heh heh, if chins could kill...but enough talk. Gimme some sugar baby.
*he pulls her in and they kiss passionately*
*Jack and Benny are on the side watching*
Benny: We'll I'll be...the sun-bitch did it.
Jack: It's those Williams double chins I tell ya, it's nice to know they still got it!
*back to Ash and Madame LeGrange*
Ash: Whadaya say we step out for just a minute for a little roll in the hay huh baby?
Madame LeGrange: *gasp* Mr. Williams! You bad boy! I would love to.
Ash: Then let's go. *Ash puts out his arm, Madame LeGrange locks her arm with his and they walk off. As they walk by Jack and Benny, Ash gives them the eyebrows*
Jack: Woo! There he goes, making the ancestor proud!
Benny: Let's just hope this new blossoming love don't swallow their souls.
Jack: What was that?
Benny: Nuthin'...
*Benny passes out*
Jack: Benny!
YOU ARE READING
Evil Dead Adventures
FanfictionIn the 80s, Ash Williams was flung into the year 1300 A.D. where he saved a kingdom from the Army of Darkness, after which he was given a potion that would make him sleep for 600 years and wake up back in his own time. But Ash slept too long and wok...
