Write me Letters [Beeduo Book - Angst]

I can't seem to find my words [12]

Today, I wore a mask to school.

A simple black mask, with The Beatles logo on the side.

I wasn't even a fan of The Beatles anymore. The mask was old, from a few years ago.

I didn't want to stand out too much today, as if ever, so I wore a simple plain white t-shirt with some green cargo pants (with chains, so it was cool) and my same, old shoes.

I had a yellow lumberjack type shirt over it.

I walked to the bus stop, but not the school bus..

The normal bus.

I got in the bus, with a bunch of sweaty, old people. Luckily, there was a seat I could take, so I sat down and looked at the window.

I lowered my mask and took my phone, so I could use the camera to see the mark in my cheek.

It was kinda purple, almost black-ish now.

I wanted to scream.

I knew The Boys would want me to take off the mask. They would make the mark worse on purpose.

Then, as I was looking at my phone, an old lady scoffed next to me.

–Why are young people so obsessed with taking selfies everywhere!?!?! The disrespect!–

–I'm s-sorry ma'am, I wasn't taking a photo I w-was–

–What!?!?!– The woman said angrily –You can't even talk properly!! Oh my!!! Kids this days!!–

–But, m-ma'am-

–I don't want to hear it, young man!!–

I just, turned off my phone and put my mask back up.

A great time to have an anxiety attack. Just, great.

I arrived to school and inmideatly went to check my notebook on the bathroom.

I went to my "panic room", which was the stall in the bathroom, and opened my backpack and went to ready my diary.

Today, I had left Michael off at school, chatted with Nikki and Jack, walked through the park, skipped breakfast and done my homework all before 7AM.

And when the bell rang, I knew I would pass out due to the lack of eating and sleeping. Yet, I knew I would get beaten today, so I needed to prepare myself.

I placed the notebook back into the bag and as I was about to head out, someone came into the bathroom, and I could hear laughs.

I recognized one, and it almost froze me. Tommy.

Then, I knew he was with either one of The Boys or someone else.

I knew it wasn't one of The Boys, because he would normally be tense and quiet around them.

I just hoped this other person was nice.

I built up the courage and breathed, I looked at my hands, and when I felt ready, I took my backpack and hang it from a shoulder.

Then, I stepped out of the stall.

There he was. Tubbo.

He and Tommy were quiet for a few seconds, and I could see Tubbo's smile upon seeing me.

Also, I could see Tommy's guilty and disappointed look. He probably wanted to be with Tubbo alone and I was ruining it.

I felt so dumb. I quickly said;

–Erm.. hello Tubbo!! It's n-nice seeing you! .. And h-hello Tommy, It's nice seeing y-you too– He seemed surprised for a second about that –I'm sorry to bother you two, I'll leave now.–

I started to walk hurriedly past them, but Tommy took my hand.

I flinched. And stopped.

I closed my eyes in fear for a moment, and made myself smaller at the touch, but then nothing came, so I opened my eyes.

Tommy was looking at me with sad eyes. Tubbo looked concerned.

–Are you..ok?– he asked.

–Ye.. No. Well, k-kinda but, sorta no-no..  but- No! I.. I mean.. I'm f-fine I guess?–

They both looked at me, and were making eye contact with me for so long that I panicked.

–Bossman.. are you really ok-?–

–No! I-I'm not!.. I mean–

'I'm so stupid!! I shouldn't have said anything! They'll hit you now!!'

I looked arround and started to shake. I felt like I wanted to puke.

Then, I felt Tommy's hand stop squishing my arm, and I took a run for it.

I ran out of the bathroom with the two shouting at me to come back.

I was blinded by the fear, in a loss of words, and I couldn't seem to function properly.

Then, as I was running, I bumped into someone and I turned arround to say sorry.

Oh, how I wish to have never turned around.

The person I bumped into was Dream.

I was fucked.