Love, is not for us

#13 - Telling the Bestie

Tiara

It's Saturday, so obviously James will be sleeping in. Therefore, I made sure Luke won't come anywhere near my place by choosing a café near his place instead of mine.

I was about to leave a note on the bedside table when I saw his eyes flickers open. "Babe?", he calls me with his deep sleepy voice.

"I'm meeting Luke for breakfast. You can sleep in as long as you wish. I won't wake you.", I giggle as I always enjoy disturbing his sleep.

"Okay. Kiss me first before you go.", he replied lazily and I kissed him tenderly.

—

Luke was already in the café by the time I reached. I took a deep breath and walk towards him. My best friend got up and hugged me tight. It's been awhile since we caught up with each other, I miss him. I hope he won't hate me after this breakfast.

I ordered a Hot Vanilla instead of my usual coffee fix and their best-seller, Avocado Bagel Sandwich. The doctor says to limit my coffee intake so, I'm trying my best to reduce as much as I can.

Luke stares at me weirdly after the waiter walks away with our order.

"What?", I ask. I'm not showing yet, am I?

"Who are you? You didn't order coffee?", he asks curiously.

Oh shit. Bad move. "I already had a cup before I left. Trying to cut down."

"Ohh, good T. Too much coffee is not good. I've been nagging you about this for years, finally!"

He tells me about everything, from Alice, his work, his patient, some lady he saw at Target, funny videos he saw. Everything amuses him. Listening to all his stories, reminds me why I love him so much. He is such a caring person, attentive, loyal, always sees good in people. I guess that's how he made his way to get closer to James and forced us to be friends despite how closed off James was. Whenever I'm sad, he always knows how to cheer me up and say the right thing. It would break me if he stops being in my life. I need my bestie. But it would break him more, if he found out when it's too late or even worse, from someone else.

Being a good best friend he is, he caught me, "What's wrong. You're quiet today. Still feeling sick?"

I'm trying to muster the courage to tell him.

"Anything on your mind, T?", he added.

I closed my eyes, "I'm pregnant."

"What!? Whose?!!"

"J-james"

He remained silent. Before I could say anything, he took out a few bank notes, slammed on the table and left the cafe.

I got up and run after him, "Luke.. please, talk to me..", I plead.

He stops his track but his back still facing me and did not said anything. We're in the middle of a garden in front of the cafe.

"I'm sorry, so so sorry.. I know this is exactly what you warned us not to do. W-we didn't plan for any of this to happen, it just happened.. ", I really don't know what to say.

"When?", he asks.

"It was since the beginning..the club..we weren't even drunk..", I admit.

"What!? It's been what, 4 months?? And I take it, you slept with him more than once??".

O-oh. "Err yeah.. we.. regular..", I stutter. I never had to explain my arrangement with James to anyone else. Although, lately it starts to feel more than that but the truth is, we are still just friends with benefits.

"Are you telling me you guys are dating? No bullshit, Tiara! James Scott doesn't date, he doesn't get attached and he definitely doesn't do Love. Never in a million years! His own words, Tiara.
Whatever you guys are having, he is just playing with you. You'll get hurt in the end.", his eyes starting to show concern. While my heart starting to form a lump.

I know James is not playing with me. The last few days were clear how caring he can be and if he was playing with me, he would have disappeared instantly. He won't take time to calm me down when I'm freaking out, he won't bother to take note on everything that the doctor says, he won't care if me and the baby is doing alright or not. But everything else that Luke said, it's the truth, James has told and reminded me a few times.

"He is not playing with me. He is not as bad as you picture him. I've seen the different side of him", I defend James.

"What? Just because you guys have been shagging regularly, suddenly you know him the best? Did he told you he can change his life long policy, to start dating, start getting attached, to love?! Has he?", my heart breaks into pieces hearing this. I just feel so humiliated.

I've been crying and my sobs are getting louder. I can't do this anymore, I need to leave.
"I'm sorry Luke, I really am...", I apologise once more before I walk to my car.