Love, is not for us

#29 - Closer

Tiara

"James, can you believe in a week, we will have them in our arms?", I look down at him who's kneeling in front of me so he's eye-level with my very pregnant belly.

He puts aside his notebook that he's been reading to the unborn twins. About a month back he has started to write bedtime stories for them upon my suggestion. He has been revising the children books that I bought into his own version, so might as well write his original. I don't think he'll change his genre into this anytime soon or ever, but I love it.

He rubs my belly with his two large hands and talks to them, "Are you both ready to meet mummy and daddy? Mummy surely can't wait for it.". I giggle hearing this, "Try to carry them... "

"I don't think I would even survive 2 months.", he jokes back and gets up to hug me. "We'll do fine, right, babe?", he asks and I notice a hint of worries in his eyes and tone. But before I could say anything he kisses my lips and add, "I'm sure we will."

---

"What time they'll be here?", James asks as he walks into our bedroom and grab a change of clothes.

"They just left half an hour ago, should be here by 3.", I reply. My mother insists to come here earlier in case the twins decide to get out of me earlier. Things have been quite alright with her, we don't talk much but when we do, it's only about the twins. I can feel that she restrains herself from commenting unnecessarily although there were a few slips but I just ignore it. As for my sister, I don't talk to her at all, she's active in our family chat group but I'm a silent reader. She has never mentioned my name so, good enough for me.

I feel a dip on the bed as he lays his head on my lap. He sulks and takes my hand to massage his scalp. "They won't be here long, they'll stay over at my old place. I'll just pretend to be tired so they'll leave early."

His eyes are shut as I continue to massage him when he suddenly groans, "I should have move us somewhere else to avoid this." I chuckle at him, "And disappear?"

"Yeah, disappear. Not just your family babe, mom told me she manage to take time off to fly here. Surely Dad, Karen would come over to visit too. Soon this apartment will be filled with unnecessary people." He may have been accepting a few close visitors but too many people, especially at once is definitely beyond his comfort zone.

"We'll figure something out okay, love.", I try to assure him.

---

Last night I was woken up by a deep groan and it turns into screaming. I look over to James and wakes him up carefully, "Babe... babe.. Wake up baby.. ". His eyes snap open and he's gasping and glisten with sweat. "Hey baby, it's okay, it's just a nightmare, I'm here..", I comfort him while rubbing his chest to calm him down. He grabs my hand and kiss me hard before wrapping my belly, "I love you three...I love you.. " he sobs in my arms.

This is the second time that he has this nightmare. The first was a month back. At that time, he just got off the bed and told me to not follow him. When I asked the next morning he just snap and say it's just a nightmare.

He walks out of the bedroom groggily and get a glass of water to drink. I look at him hesitantly, probably sensing my thoughts, he put down the glass and walks to me. He cups my face, "It was just a nightmare. Don't worry." And he kisses me tenderly. "Good morning.", he added.

I wanted to ask more but knows better not to push it. "Good Morning to you too, Love."

"By the way, I had a video call with your mom yesterday." Is it weird that I'm getting closer to her than my own mother?

"Oh yeah? What she wants?", he asks uninterestedly as he starts our breakfast.

"Just catching up."

He rolls his eyes, "When she'll be here in a few days?"

"Well, there's always things to catch up on. Plus, by the time she's here, we'll definitely be occupied by the babies."

"As long as we're occupied together and you don't abandon me.", for a second I thought I saw a hint of worry? sadness? But it went away as quickly as it flickers and his kiss push the thoughts away.

He continue to prepare our breakfast as I go through my "Welcome to the World" list that I've prepared in the last few months. These days it has become a habit for me to go through it frequently to prepare for the day. The closer the day, the more anxious I be.

Suddenly a hand grab the list from me and it's been tossed aside. "James!!!"

"Breakfast time!!", he announces, ignoring my reaction.

"Why did you do that! Get it back for me!!"

"No.", he simply replies as he takes a seat in front of me and try to feed me some toasts.

I keep my mouth tight and frown at him. "Come on, you're more than capable to recite it from A to Z without even taking a glance.", he tried to reason with me.

"B-but--"

"No buts, we've prepared everything that we can. All we can do is to wait for the time to come. Relax, Love.", he give me a gentle and caring look.

I nod and tug a smile defeatedly, "Okay... Just want to be sure."

He chuckles at me, "Not sure if I'm looking forward to see you prepare for their first day of school."

I gasp, "Do you think I'll be a controlling mother?! I will, right??"

He just shrug, "Follow my lead if you don't want to be one."

Now it's my turn to shrug and joke, "Don't know who will be worse parent."

"Wanna bet?", he challenges and bring up his pinky.

"Bring it on, handsome", I accepted the challenge and hook my pinky with his. My habit that has grown on him.

"Alright, let's see, Sunshine."