Love, is not for us

#14 - You Stink! Go Away

James

Ever since Tiara's meeting with Luke, she's a bit more quiet and slightly distant from me. She didn't tell me much, apart from it went exactly as expected.

Luke came to see me a few days later, I let him throw a couple of punches on me before I warned him to mind his own business if he doesn't intend to support his best friend during this time. It seems like he still hasn't got in touch with her, so I have to make sure to keep her accompany although I know I won't be able to fill up the void, that I possibly created.

Since I'm spending most of my free time at her place, I've made a point to make sure her refrigerator is always filled up.

I've never bought so much groceries in my life.
I usually buy just basic stuffs for myself but now Tiara is eating for two, I need to make sure there are enough food in her fridge, with lots and lots of variations. In case she has any cravings.

2 nights ago, I found her rummaging the fridge at 3 in the morning.

"Baby? What are you doing?", I asked.

"I'm hungry.", she pouts as she took out a leftover lasagna that I made the night before.
"I feel like having Carbonara Fettuccine", she said while savouring the lasagna.
"I thought you don't like Carbonara?"
"I don't know, maybe I've been missing out.", she shrugged.

The next day, I went to her office during lunch and brought her to a nearby restaurant which supposed to serve the best Carbonara in town. As quoted by her partner, Anna who seems to be the receiving ends of her cravings too.
Anyway, the lunch ended with the plate of Carbonara eaten by me while she finishes her all-time favourite Pesto. She decided she still hates Carbonara and luckily I took a step ahead by ordering the Pesto for myself.

I let myself into her apartment and drop the groceries on her kitchen top then look for her in her bedroom. I heard her sweet voice talking to someone.

"Thank you for listening to Mummy. Mummy loves you Blue"

I walked in and greet her, "Were you talking to to your belly? and Blue?"

"I wasn't talking to my belly, I was talking to our baby. Yes, I gave her a nickname, Blue since she's a size of a blueberry and I hope she gets your blue eyes.", she explains.

"I see you are agreeing that it's a girl.", I smirk at her and seats next to her to give her a kiss.
Before I could kiss her, she pushes me away, "Oh my god! You stink! Go away!!", and she rushes to the bathroom and it sound like she's vomiting. Normally I would follow her to soothe her but I was taken aback and since I am the cause of it, she may not appreciate my presence. I don't think I stink. Is it my cologne?

—

After taking a thorough bath, omitting any colognes, she approves my fresh new smell. And I finally get to kiss and cuddle her.

I recall what she said to our baby earlier and I tensed, "Mummy loves you Blue."

Will I ever be capable to love?

Without much thinking I said,"Babe, I'm a mess. I don't know how to love. But I will try my best to learn to love our baby. But I promise to make sure our baby will never be short of anything else. I'll protect our baby at all cost, I will never let anything or anyone hurt our baby."

She kiss me tenderly and smiles, "You're going to be the best dad ever." But, I saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. Before I could say anything, she kiss me again, this time passionately and hungrily which ends rounds of passionate, intimate sessions.