Love, is not for us

#36 - Our Demons

Tiara

"Sit here. I'll check the boys quickly and grab the first-aid box.", I tell James and return back to him in a few minutes.

"Does it hurt? Any broken ribs?", I ask James as I scan through his wounds.
"Yeah, he sure did pour out all his anger and hatred. But no, all in tact", he solemnly answers.

I huff out in annoyance and grabs his shoulder so he looks into my eyes.
"James, he doesn't hate you. Angry? Yes. Hate? No!"

"C'mon Tiara. How could he not hate me? Let's not be so naive.", he counters negatively.

"Ouch!!! Babe?!", he screams in pain as I dab the antiseptic solution on his wound mercilessly with extra pressure.

I just roll my eyes and continue to clean his wound without saying a word. He looks at me carefully and tug on my shirt while pouting, "What? What did I do now?"

"Later. Let's finish this up quickly, I need to feed them.", he continues to pout sadly hearing my response. I can't talk to him right now. I'm too angry at him for thinking the worse of himself. How can I show him how amazing he is. Who would have thought, this man who exude such a high confidence has such complex.

—-

We had a quiet dinner with James tiptoeing around me, unsure what exactly ticks me off. I'm so tired and drained, so I suggest to talk it out tomorrow. Despite the punches he received earlier, he still insist to cook for dinner although I can see him wincing from certain movements.

I was getting ready to call it a night when James poke his head into the twins' room.
"Sweetheart..", I love how he has stop caring about the space we agreed on and has start calling me by these nicknames again.

"Yeah?", I look up at him as he takes a seat at the end of the bed.

"You're tired.. Maybe I can sleep with them tonight? So you can sleep in our bedroom peacefully."

"And you're injured. You need all the rest too."

He shakes his head, "I hardly sleep anyway. Plus, it's just superficial injuries, nothing I can't handle. Go.. You deserve a good uninterrupted sleep."

I frown hearing that he hardly sleeps. I know he wakes up when the nightmare hits, but I have no idea to what extent it affects his sleep. He used to sleep like a log. So, it must be bad if he hardly sleeps.

"You know, I sleep here not only to be with them." he raise his brow wondering what I mean by this.

"I-I haven't been on our bed ever since I return from the hospital. Y-your scent still lingers, I can't bring myself to sleep on it without you.", I explain to him the real reason I'm sleeping here.

"Ohh. I'm sorry, I didn't know." he looks down frowning. After a minute of silence he inch his fingers to reach mine and brush my hand softly. I chuckle looking at his action, and hearing my chuckles he grab my hands and bring them to his lap as he rubs them.

"I have a suggestion. You can reject if you don't like it." I nod to hear them.

"Let's bring the boys out there, in the living room. We set the place and we sleep together, with them in between us as the barrier."

I giggle at this and tease him, "You're utilizing our sons as barricades now?"

"Well, they gotta be useful from early age.", he smirks at his own joke.

"So? What do you say? If any of them wakes up, I'll take care of it. So you can get your beauty sleep."

"Alright."