Perfect Strangers (Sebastian Vettel)

49: Holding on to Hope

"There you go," said the doctor.   Seb's heart filled with love as he saw their baby on the screen for the first time.  He blinked back the tears.  Lucie squeezed his hand as they saw the baby move about.

"Everything is absolutely fine.  You have your 20 week scan next week, don't you?"

"Yes," Lucie confirmed. 

"Would you like to know what you're having?" the doctor asked.

They looked at each other, they'd not talked about finding out. 

"It would be nice," Seb conceded. "That way we could pick a name and get prepared. But then again, a surprise would be nice too. It's your call."

Lucie laughed. "That's it, put it all on me!" She thought about it for a second. "Ok. I want to know."

Seb put his arm around Lucie. He hugged her tightly. They both beamed as the doctor gave them the news.

They decided they were going to keep it to themselves. It was their secret and everyone else could wait until the birth.

Seb had to leave shortly after. It was now the early hours of the morning and, even though the CT had come back clear,  the doctor had advised that Lucie stay in for monitoring overnight.

She was to be transferred to a general ward so Seb wouldn't be able to stay any longer.

He kissed her tenderly before heading outside to wait for the taxi he had called for.

He quickly texted Julia to let her know that Lucie was fine but was being kept in for observation.

Once inside the taxi he felt his eyes getting heavy. He was so tired. Well his body was. His brain wouldn't switch off.

She'd wanted Callum. Not him. He tried not to read too much into it but it was hard not to.

Would she ever love him like she loved her deceased husband? She'd said she'd never marry again. Why? Was it because she would never love that much?

Perhaps she'd change her mind? He wanted nothing more than to make her his wife. He'd love to adopt Freddie as well. He was such a great little boy.

Eventually the taxi pulled up outside the house. He handed the driver the fare along with a generous tip. Then he headed inside. He went straight upstairs. He picked up the stuffed tiger and went and put it back on Freddie's shelf.

Climbing into bed,  his thoughts returned to Lucie and to Callum. How could he compete against a dead man? He had to be satisfied with what he had. She was with him. Maybe she didn't love him like she loved Callum but she did love him. He knew that.

And he loved her more than anyone he'd ever loved. He'd thought he'd been in love with Natasha but that paled in comparison to the feelings he had for Lucie.

He'd never been so scared in his life as he had been tonight, when he'd thought he might lose her.

He soon dropped off to sleep and before he knew it, it was morning.

***

Seb had just come down the stairs and was making some toast when there was a knock on the door. He passed through the hallway and opened it. It was Julia.

He smiled and opened the door wider for her to enter. She went straight through to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"Thank you for calling Seb. Thano God she and the baby are ok. I thought we could travel in to see her together. Give us a chance to get to know each other better."

"That would be nice. Obviously I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Tea? Coffee?"

"Not for me thanks." He took his toast out of the toaster and began buttering it.

"What exactly happened Seb?"

"Well it turns out she tripped on one of Freddie's tigers. I feel awful. I should have seen it when we went up to bed. I'd never have forgiven myself if something bad had happened to Lucie or to the baby."

Julia lay a hand in Seb's arm.

"Seb it's not your fault. Lucie has a pair of eyes too. It was just an accident." Deep down Seb knew that too. They both sat down at the table.

"I know I've been harsh to Lucie. I'm just concerned Seb. She's been through so much and I want her to be happy. It's just everything moved so quickly. I don't want her ending up hurt. But last night, on the phone, I could hear in your voice how much you love her."

"I really do Julia. She is my world. Her, Freddie and the baby." He hung his head, tears welling in his eyes. He fought them back.

"Seb, what is it? What's wrong?"

"After she fell, she was calling for Callum. Not me. Callum. What if she doesn't love me the way she loved him?"

Julia sighed. "Seb, Lucie was destroyed when she lost him. Finding out about Freddie saved her. Since he died she has never even looked at another man, until you. I know my daughter and she is head over heels in love with you. She will always love Callum, he was her first love, father of her son. I don't know why she called for him. But she loves you.

Callum and Lucie, they were together from a young age. They were best friends before they were anything else. Everyone expected them to get together, to get married. Their love was.... innocent and natural. But I never saw a spark between them like I do with you and Lucie. I really don't think you need to worry."

"She won't marry me Julia. I told her we should get married but she said she'll never marry again."

Julia laughed. "You told her? Wrong move sunshine. Lucie is a hopeless romantic. You really have a lot to learn. A woman likes to be asked. Not told."

"Are you sure you haven't been talking to my press Officer, Britta?  She said almost exactly the same thing."

"She's a wise woman."  Seb nodded.

"She certainly is."

"Give her time Seb.  This is all so new. Don't try to rush things. Enjoy your time together before the baby is born. Believe me, everything will change once that happens."

"I'm scared Julia. I'm scared she will realise I'm not what she wants."

"Then you're an idiot. A fool can see how much she loves you."

Seb smiled sheepishly.

"Anyway, let's get moving. I want to see my daughter. You're driving. I want to know what it's like being driven by a hotshot racing driver."

Seb grinned. Maybe Julia was right. He was an idiot. But he'd been burned once, by Natasha. And he'd lost Lucie before because he'd been too scared to tell her how he felt.

He couldn't face losing her again. She was just too important to him. She was everything.