PUPPY

CHAPTER 16

I stopped at the nearest convenience store and got out. I picked a basket and walked inside.

After a while, someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around to see a familiar man.

"Hi, Amalia!"

The man smiled and said: "Nice seeing you here."

"Hi ..." I replied with a little hesitation.

"I wanted to talk to you about something, but I never managed to catch you alone in school."

This is weird.

"Do I know you?"

"Oh, sorry, we should introduce ourselves to each other first." He extended his right arm and I did the same. "I'm Jeff Parkins, the exchange Geography teacher." Before I could even utter a word, he said: "You're Amalia Taylor, you teach the first years, right?" He took my hand and started shaking it.

He was about the same height as me. His long light-brown hair was styled into a bun. His brown eyes made him look like a deer in headlights. His slim and long body was dressed in a pair of jeans and an azure hoodie.

"Yes ..." I responded dryly.

"Yes, yes. Maybe you have seen me hang around with Spike, I mean Steve. Have you seen him lately?"

"No," I said as I started walking away.

Jeff was right behind me. "I'm sorry for what Spike, I mean Steve did. He told me everything about your date. You have to understand that he's a gigolo. He always was, and he'll always be."

He kept blabbering something about Steve's girlfriend, volleyball and their friends back home.

At one point I stopped him and said: "No matter what you say, it won't change the fact that for me Steve is a fucking bastard. He's a prick that only thinks with his lower head."

I turned away and picked some chicken out of the fridge. I started walking toward the vegetable section.

"Amalia, I know that Spike is the last person that you want to talk about, but have you seen him lately?"

I didn't even look at him before saying: "No."

"I know that you're still holding a grudge against him, but you have to help me. He suddenly disappeared and he didn't pick up the phone and he wasn't at home. He wrote me a short message saying that he went home, cuz' he misses his girlfriend. But I know that Spike didn't write that. I went to the police, but they won't help me. Even his parents don't believe me. They said that he even called saying he was at his girlfriend's place. That wasn't Spike. I know it! Please help me, Amalia!!"

He got a lot of attention from the other customers.

"I'm sorry, but if Steve wrote to you that he went home, then he did. Now, if you excuse me, I have a lot of work and little time." Then I started walking away from him, again.

He followed me while talking about what Steve did or didn't do.

"Please, stop! If Steve didn't tell you anything about going home, maybe you aren't such good friends as you say you are." I said to him while we were in the alley full of chips.

He stood frozen there for a minute before saying: "No, Spike isn't like that. We grew up together. This is nothing like him. Please, help me find him!"

"Do you even hear yourself? I despise Steve for what he did and said to me! I won't help you find him! For all I care, he can be dead!"

"Amalia, please help me!" He shouted before grabbing my wrist.

"If you don't let go of me right now, I'll shout!"

He let go of me. I looked him dead in the eye and said: "Steve and I are nothing! Get that inside your head!" Before he could manage to form another sentence, I stormed off.

He's out of his mind. Why would I have to do with Steve going home? The more I thought about it, the less of a connection I saw.

I finished the shopping list and got out. As I stepped out of the shop, I had about an hour left to go to the craft store and then home.

I put the bags full of food into the trunk and walked across the street. As I was walking down toward the store, I started noticing a familiar figure standing in front of a fancy restaurant. I paused for a moment, thinking that I started seeing Neil everywhere. But then he turned to the side, and I recognized that it was him.

It is Neil!

What is he doing here?!

I was about to call him out when a woman stepped to his side. I hid behind a corner, assessing all my thoughts.

Who is she?

The woman kissed him on the cheek before smiling. Neil's smile radiates happiness.

I took a good look at the woman. She was beautiful, even that word was an understatement, she was out of this world. She was wearing a short black dress that showed off her slim long legs. And the enormous white fur coat that was hanging on her shoulders showed that she has enough money to swim in it. She was the complete opposite of me, extremely slim and with a beautifully smooth face that could be put on a magazine this instant. She looks like someone that fits perfectly next to him.

I'm shocked!

I'm not even angry.

I feel betrayed.

Was he seeing her behind my back all this time, is he playing a double game or something?

Am I just a toy to use when he's bored?

What the fuck!?

Was all we had a lie?

Is he just playing with my feelings for his amusement?

Tears started to form in my eyes while I imagined two possible scenarios. I imagined going there and slapping him, or I could just go home and move to another city as I did in university.

I perked from around the corner to see them hand in hand walking down the street.

I did nothing, I just stood there like a helpless mess. They were looking at each other like no one else was there.

At last, a tear travelled down my cheek. I leaned against the cold wall, my body started to lose its strength.

Suddenly, something fell on my face. I looked up at the snow that was travelling down to earth.

Now I know that the walls that I pulled down for him need to be rebuilt. It was a mistake to let him in. He's nothing better than Steve and my ex. All lying bastards! I hate him!

I don't know how, but I got myself home. I put the bags of groceries in the fridge without sorting them out. On my way to bed, I lost all my clothes. I slide under my covers, wrapping them around me.

It hurts, it hurts so much.

Now I know that I love him because my heart is tearing apart.

I deliberately let him into my heart just to be hurt.

This pain of betrayal is indescribable. It's like that little voice that keeps telling you that you're not enough, that you're just an insect that deserves to die and rot in the ground.

I should have killed myself that day.

It's a dark place that I came back again to right now. The place where my mother pushed me to. I just want to be like the snow outside, melt to death.

I only want this pain to drip out of my heart!

If only I wouldn't have said yes if only I wouldn't have met him, if only-

Warm tears were floating down my cheeks, taking away the makeup, taking away my happiness and watering my sadness and despair. I should die.

I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep in pain.