Out of Time

Chapter Five - Fresh Start

It has been three days and I've made no progress. Like none, zip, zero. I turned into the Briella I don't like, the Briella that my parents don't like. The real Briella.

Or at least I thought that was the real Briella. Everyday at lunch Axel seems to help me out, I tell him it's working but deep down I know it isn't. I lost my three best friends because I didn't want to be annoying, I don't even know where to begin in order to get them back.

"Briella, snap out of it." Axel said as he snapped his fingers.

"I'm sorry. I had a long night." I said as I recalled the events from the night before in my head. My parents were arguing about the divorce and when I asked them if they could stop they told me to "just shut up already."

"Well you see, this-" he said as he motioned to me, "has multiple reasons behind it. One of which is your home life."

"My home life is fine." I said as I put my elbows on the table.

"I'm not stupid. You literally told me it wasn't." Axel said as I scoffed.

"I thought I was talking to Jake. I told you to forget." I said back as he shook his head.

"And I said that wasn't happening, so look where we are now. Square one." He said as the bell rang. Once again, no progress.

"Oh wow look at that, you know that session was really helpful." I said as I stood up and started walking away.

"Really? Cause I didn't see it that way?" Axel said as he showed up next to me.

"For sure. Same time tomorrow?" I asked him as I got swept away in the crowd. I looked over my shoulder and saw Annabelle standing at her locker. I decided to make my way over there and try to talk things through.

"Annabelle, hey!" I said as she looked at me from around her locker door.

"What do you want Briella?" She asked as she closed her locker.

"I just wanted to talk about what happened because it wasn't supposed to and I really messed up." I said as she looked over my shoulder.

"Yeah it's really not a great time." She said as I looked behind me and saw Ella and Jake.

"No actually it is a great time. I need to talk to all three of you." I said as Annabelle shrugged and walked away from me. "Y'all can't walk away from your problems!" I said as they kept walking until Ella turned around.

"Listen to your own advice Briella." She said and within a second she was turned back around and walking with the group, minus one. (which is me if you didn't pick that up.)

I cursed under my breath as I walked to my car to go straight to the coffee shop.

-

It ended up being dead at the coffee shop and at 9:00 I decided to just close. Right as I put the last chair up I heard the door open as I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry we closed early tonight-" I started to say when a voice interrupted me.

"We will open tomorrow at 7 am." The voice said behind me. I rolled my eyes as I turned around.

"We're closed Axel." I said as I walked back behind the counter.

"Well let's talk. Tell me everything from A to Z. And it's ok if we only make it to like G, that's still progress." He said as he took two chairs down that sat across from each other. I shook my head as I made two coffees and walked over to him.

"Fine. Where do you want me to start?" I asked as he took a sip of the coffee.

"A." He said as I was taking a sip of my coffee.

"You gotta be more specific then that. Like my parents, my brother, my friends, my brain?" I said as I fiddled with my hands.

"That." He said as he pointed to my hands. "The fiddling, that's A."

"Ok, I've fiddled with my hands since I was like I don't know, 5 or 6." I said as I thought about it. "The first time I had like real anxiety, and sure I was a little kid so I didn't know at the time what it was but I only play with my hands when I'm anxious, nervous, or scared even."

"But that leads to my dad so that can be part B. I'm just not prepared for part B." I said as I looked at Axel "one part a day until I'm out of things to talk about."

"Sounds like a plan Stan." Axel said as I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Stan?" I said back as I started laughing.

"You've never heard anyone say that?" He asked as he started to smile.

"No, I've never heard that before in my life." I said back as I chuckled again.

"So now we're making fun of me?" Axel said as his smile held constant, almost like he was holding back his smile.

"I mean we can, if I remember correctly you called me annoying." I said back as I grabbed my coffee and took a sip.

"Yeah and you called me a dick, and if the shoe fits I better wear it." He said causing me to laugh and spit my drink out, all over Axel.

"Oh my god I am so sorry." I said as I stood up and grabbed a towel off of the bar.

"You're gonna pay for this." Axel said as he laughed and wiped the coffee off of himself.

"Oh come on, you forgive me already." I said with a smile.

"Yeah- no I don't." He said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes as I cleaned up the table and put the chairs back up.

"Alright alright, but we are for real closed now so my parents are expecting me to be home." I said as I walked to the door.

"If you say so, but remember part B tomorrow!" He said as he walked to his car and then drove away. I shook my head as I locked the door and headed home.

When I walked into the house I noticed that my dad was asleep on the couch surrounded by alcohol. I sighed and quietly made my way upstairs. I took out a piece of paper and started writing down my a-z list. It didn't take long before I was starting over at aa, bb, cc, and so on.

I never even realized how much crap I had until I started writing it down, every single thing I wrote down led to something else, it was a never ending cycle.

Finally when my hand cramped from writing I decided my list was ok. I had time to build up to the big end, and then the world could crash and burn around me.