Out of Time

Chapter Eighteen

It was a week later, and Jake and Ella were over at my house helping me get ready for my dads funeral. My mom was forcing me to go to it, as she officially moved back in.

I texted Axel and told him everything that had happened, he told me he would meet me at the funeral. And of course, Annabelle and I are very much in an avoidance but we know we do need each other. So she is of course coming as well.

I pulled out the only black dress I own, the dress I wore to my brothers funeral. It doesn't fit me great anymore due to falling into the eating disorder, but I could make it work. My goal for today was just to smile as I was told "I'm so sorry for your loss, he was an incredible man."

He wasn't an incredible man. He was the complete opposite.

The worst part, I had to see my relatives.

Axel said he would stay by my side for the whole thing, I don't want him to see the difference between his relatives and mine, but I couldn't just tell him no.

I put the dress on and Ella curled my hair. Jake wanted to be helpful, so he started pulling out different pieces of jewelry. He found my middle finger necklace and laughed as he clasped it around my neck. I started laughing as I knew that was the best necklace for today. When Ella finished my hair, I walked over to my jewelry box and pulled out the ring my dad bought me on my 14th birthday. I haven't worn it in years, it's just been collecting dust in this old jewelry box that used to be his moms. Everything in my room reminded me of him.

My mom called us downstairs so we could get into the car. We drove over to the funeral home. Jake squeezed my shoulder as Ella squeezed my hand. As soon as we pulled in I saw Axels car. I haven't seen him since that day.

I got out of the car and Axel wrapped me into a hug.

"I'd say sorry for your loss, but-" He said as I started laughing. "Cute necklace, very appropriate." He winked at me as I felt like I melted.

My grandparents pulled into the parking lot, followed by my cousins and we all walked into the funeral home. I saw my dads casket as I took a deep breath. My mom picked out what he would wear, I stayed at home.

My little cousin walked up to me and hugged me, of course he was just hugging my legs but whatever.

"I woved uncle." He said as I ruffled his hair. He has never even met my dad.

His mom walked over crying up a storm.

"How did you ever get through losing your brother?" My jaw dropped as Axel squeezed my hand, cause I could really punch a bitch right now.

"Aunt Tara, those were two different circumstances." I said as she shrugged and shook her head.

"Not really, both car accidents." I bit my tongue as I forced a smile. Jake cleared his throat.

"Just say you're sorry for the loss and move on." Jake said as I smiled at him.

Aunt Tara walked over to my mom and whispered something as my mom turned her head and glared at me.

Fucking Fantastic.

I knew my mom wouldn't confront me about it today, or at least not during the funeral. But she definitely put it in her back pocket.

A couple of times my grandparents tried to get me to go up to the casket but I refused. Finally, it was time for each family to say their private goodbyes. My mom dragged us to the end of the line, and everyone who wasn't family was forced to leave.

I refused to go up to the casket with my mom, as soon as she left and said her goodbyes I slowly walked up to the casket and drew in a short sharp breath.

"I really hate you." I whispered as a tear rolled down my face. "Why did you get to leave first. I have to live with all this shit that you left for me."

I wiped away the tears that were falling and shook my head.

"I hope you enjoy Hell, and if I ever see you again, it won't be pretty." I said as I finally took in his outfit.

My fucking mom put our family locket around his neck. The last picture taken before my brother died of all of us together. I looked to the door to make sure it was still shut. I didn't want to touch my dads dead cold body, but I wanted that necklace. I didn't want my mom to get it back.

I quickly brought the clasp to the front and took it off of him. I dropped it in my pocket as soon as the door open. I wiped one last tear away as my mom motioned for me to leave.

-

I got to take two days off of school, and when I came back it was a complete shit show. College applications, prom, graduation. It felt like I was falling behind.

My top school is Florida State or University of Alabama, while Axels top school is University of Georgia. Jake wants to go to Clemson, and Ella and Annabelle just applied and are gonna go wherever they get accepted.

I played catch up all the way up to college decisions were announced. I was terrified. I didn't want what I had going with Axel to end, but I also didn't want to give up my education. I wanted to get away.

I was laying in my bed with Florida State sent out their decisions. Axel and I both applied, it was Axels back up school though.

"Please tell me you just got that email." I said over FaceTime to Axel. He nodded as he pulled out his computer and I did the same.

We pulled up the link and logged in.

"1... 2... 3!" We said together like we've done with all the other college decisions.

Axel had a big grin on his face that I plastered on mine as I read the decision.

Waitlisted.

"I got in!" Axel said as showed me his screen.

"I did too!" I lied, but he couldn't even tell.

Alabama better pull through.