Out of Time

Chapter Four - New Discoveries

"Oh my god." I said as I processed who I just rambled everything to.

"Shit. A-are you okay?" Axel asked me as he just stared at me. "I swear I didn't mean to hurt you with my comment earlier. I'm so sorry that you've been thinking so hard about it."

I started to stand up and stumbled a little. Axel grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling. "I'm fine. You're just not who I thought was going to meet me here. I need you to forget everything I told you."

"You can't just spill your whole crappy life secrets and expect me to forget." He said as he stood up next to me.

"I am literally begging you to forget." I said as I yanked my arm out of his grasp. "Tomorrow I won't be that annoying girl. I need to change myself for the better. So if you could just forget everything I said then it won't even matter."

"Briella you're suicidal and I'm standing next to a bridge with you. I'm not gonna forget what you just said." Axel said as he motioned to the bridge.

"I-I'm not suicidal. I just need you to leave and forget." I said as I looked down at my hands.

"What do your parents put into your head?" He asked me as I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Jake and sighed of relief.

"Thank god you're here." I said as I turned and looked back at Axel, who appeared to tense up. "I don't want to talk anymore. But thank you for showing up anyway."

"What the hell I literally just got here." He said as he shot a glare towards Axel. "Do you at least want a ride home?"

I shook my head as I hugged him. "I walked, I'll be fine."

I didn't look back at Axel as I started to walk somewhere. Anywhere but home. But within an hour of walking I made it back home. Both of my parents were asleep so I quickly shut my door and cried myself to sleep.

-

The next morning I texted the group and told them I couldn't give them a ride today. This was apart of step 1, don't be so clingy.

Step 2, don't stick out. I chose a basic outfit and left my hair down. I didn't want all the attention brought on me. I was then staring at my long blonde hair and decided it was time for a change, I made a mental note to call my hairdresser to try and fit me in.

I then drove to school and got there right on time. Step 3, be appealing. Whenever people would look at me I would show a soft smile, nothing more nothing less. I walked into Mr. Liths class and smiled at him.

"How are you today?" I asked as I made my way to my seat. He stared at me shocked as he looked up from the board.

"I'm good Briella, how are you?" He said in return as I sat down in front of Axel.

"I'm really good, thanks for asking." I said as I smiled at Axel. "How are you-"

"Cut the shit Briella. This isn't you." He said as he closed his planner.

"Yes it is Axel." I said calmly. Everything had to be calm. This is who I am whether I like it or not. I looked up as I saw my friends walk in and all glare at me, this might be harder then I though.

"What the hell Briella." Annabelle said as she sat down next me.

"I'm sorry guys, it's just gonna be for this week." I said back.

"Hello?! Briella are you in there?" Ella asked as she waved her hand in front of my face.

"Ella please stop. I'm focusing on the real me and not the fake me that y'all all know." I said as I took out my notebook.

"Briella, the real you is boring." Jake said causing me to stare at him.

"At least I'm trying ok? Y'all don't have to like me but this is who I am." I said back as Jake looked over at Axel.

"What did you do to her last night?" He asked as he walked over to Axel.

"Y'all were together last night?! What'd you do mentally degrade her?!" Annabelle said as she slapped her hand on the table.

"She mentally degraded herself! I had nothing to do with it!" Axel said back as he motioned towards me.

"Can y'all jus-"

"God Briella why are you like this?! You dig your own grave and then you don't even want to lay in it. We can't keep helping you out every single time. Eventually we're gonna fall in with you." Ella said as she walked away from our table and to an empty table on the other side of the classroom.

"I'm so sorry Briella but.. I agree with Ella." Annabelle said as she walked away. Jake gave me a sorry smile and followed her.

I was still processing what happened when I turned and looked at Axel.

"Briella, just snap out of it." He said as I just stared at him.

"I'm digging my own grave and no one is gonna pull me out this time." I said as the pieces finally clicked in my head, I was the problem no matter my personality.

"Just go back to your old quirky self. That's who you were." Axel said as he put his arms down on the table and looked at me.

I shook my head as I thought about it. "No, then I'm annoying and no one likes people who are annoying." I said as more people started filling into the classroom, their voices were loud enough to cover our conversation.

"Right now you're being stubborn. I like my friends to be annoying way more then stubborn." I looked over his shoulder to avoid eye contact. "Briella look at me."

I found his eyes as he kept talking. "They're gonna come around, but in the meantime I'll help you get out of that grave you're digging. It's my fault you're there anyway."

"Ok." I whispered as I looked back down at my hands which appeared to be shaking. All of my steps went flying out the window and I now realized, I have no idea who I'm meant to be.