Kpop x male reader

Nct- Yuta

Y/ns pov
It was easy to ignore at first. Him coming home covered in blood, the suspicious leaving and coming back late, the weird meetings with his 'coworkers'. I ignored him hiding the weapons when we first moved in with each other. It just made things easier.

I think he thinks I'm clueless to all his gang shit but in reality I grew up with it. Im no longer involved but  now I'm dating someone who is.

The disappearance of people I argued/ didn't get along with didn't go unnoticed by me either. I simply have just chosen to ignore it.

But now I can't. I can't do it. I hate being the reason that people are dead. I can't tell my boyfriend how my day is anymore because the smallest things make him angry. I'm talking to a male coworker; he gets angry. I can't go out anymore, I can't visit friends. I work and I come home to be alone until late at night.

I'm in love with yuta, I truly am but I don't know how to do this anymore. I live in fear all the time.I'm a target to other gangs and I'm so done.

Yuta walks into the room. He has fucking blood on him. He has never walked in the house with blood on him. I absolutely hate blood.

He walks by like nothing is wrong and walks straight into the bathroom. My fucking god.

10 minutes later he walks out, changed and his hair wet.

"Hello love! How was your day?"

I turn and look at him. Well stare at him. He acts as if he didn't just walk into our house Covered in blood. He probably let blood on our fucking floor.

"Yuta."

He looks at me and smiles. This motherfucker.

"Yes my love?"

I scoff and stand up. I'm leaving. Im not doing this. I can't do this. I can't be the reason people die, I can't be with the person who ends people's lives. Not anymore.

I grab my phone from off the charger and go to the closest to change. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" I hear yuta ask. There are short footsteps and then I feel his arms wrap around me.

I remove his arms and pull on a new shirt. He makes a confused noise and when he asks me to turn around I ignore it. I grab a bag and start putting some of my clothes in it. I know he would never hurt me, mentally or physically. Yuta is many things but abusive is not one of them.

"Love please stop packing and we can talk, hmm?" He mumbles rubbing his hand over my arm. I take a deep breath and shake my head no. I don't know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do but I don't want to do this. I don't want to be involved in this in any way.

He walks in front of me and kneels down in front of me so I'm looking down at him. He looks upset but is smiling at me. He looks like he is pleading with me.

I look away but he grabs my hands. "We don't do this. It's us. We talk but we don't leave. So please stop packing for me" he pleads, his grip tightens on my hand.

I look back at him and he looks like he is about to cry. Sob actually. He does this thing when he is upset, he pouts a lot. It's not obvious to most but it's how we met actually.

I went to the park one day, I was having a really shitty day to be honest. I saw him sitting at a bench and he looked like he was about to burst out sobbing. I'm not sure what made me sit next to him but I did. He looked confused but I smiled at him and then he started crying. I pointed out his pout and he started laughing about it. I then bought him dinner and ice cream. That was our start. A joke about his pout and food.

I stare at him for a few minutes then I nod. His smile grows and he nods. He stands up and Takes the bag from me. He puts the bag on one of the shelves.

"Let's go talk. Figure out how to fix this" he says reaching his hand out for me to grab. I hesitantly grab it and nod once again. I know he doesn't want to hurt me and that he wouldn't.

I love him and I know he loves me. He is a man with pride yet he is willing to get on his knees just to try and convince me to stay and talk to him. This might make me stupid but I trust him.

We can and will figure this out. No running. We don't run we talk or we argue until we can't anymore. That's how this goes. That's how this will probably always go. I doubt either of us will every be able to let go of each other properly. We are toxic for each other but neither of us are willing to end it.

It's us.

Love is like a drug. Highly addictive and I seem to never get enough..