Kpop x male reader

Straykids

Tw. Miscarriage
Y/ns pov
Finding love is amazing. The feeling of euphoria you feel when around them, the cute dates you plan, the never ending want to be with each other.

It's great until it's not. It's great until you feel so alone. It's great until you sit there waiting for your lovers to come home and when they do they completely ignore you. When they don't ask you to do anything anymore and make plans with all of them without you. That's when love turn into something sour.

"Y/n, darling I'm home!"A voice yells

It's Felix. I know it's Felix. I love Felix. He is one of my mates who spends at least a small amount of time with me. He bakes with me and cuddles with me while I read. He always tries to read with me but says I move the pages too fast for him so he sometimes has me read it to him.

That's one. One of my mates. One of eight, only two talk to me.

I don't respond I just keep packing. The faster the finish the faster I can leave without an argument.

I'm not doing this. I'm not even talked to anymore. The other omegas talk to me, they talk to me and genuinely care about what I do. But the alphas don't. They ignore that I even exist. I can't be last place for everyone anymore. I can't be alone anymore. I want someone to genuinely want me. They wanted me but I'm not so sure anymore.

"Love?" Felix asks, his voice sounds slightly frantic. He is next to me in less than 5 second "Baby tell me what's happening. Tell me why you are packing" he whimpers grabbing my arm.

"I'm going home Felix" I mumble pulling my arm away. He makes a confused noise and I just go back to folding my clothes and putting it in the suitcase.

I don't like being alone. I hate it in fact but in this pack I'm alone. The alphas pay so much attention to Felix and Seungmin but can't even spare me a glance. The other omegas get good mornings and constant praise, I can't even get a thank you.

I need something more than this. Whatever this is. I live in Korea because of them. I fell in love and they begged me to stay so I did. I stayed because I love them so that even the remote idea of being away from them kills me but I won't settle for less than what I'm worth.

"Baby this is home" He frowns trying to touch my face. I look away and take a deep breath.

"America home. I'm going home to my parents. I can't do this anymore. Things will be much better for all of us"

He scoffs and starts taking all of the clothes I've packed out. One by one the clothes I'm putting in sre being taken out and he can sense my irritation because he purposefully starts letting out calming pheromones.

I run my hands over my face and shake my head no. "Felix stop. Please just stop. I can't do this anymore, I- I can't be alone like this anymore. I just want to go home" I plead leaning on the bed.

He is silent for a second. Not like his normal silence. I look at him and he looks confused, so very confused. "You-.. You aren't alone? We are around all the time" he says but it sounds more like a question. Like he isn't even sure what he is saying.

I shake my head no again and quickly pile everything  into my suitcase. I know he is talking to the guys through the link. He did it as soon as he saw me packing everything. I can feel them trying to link with me but I've become very good at blocking it. I used to block them when they were getting too loud or arguing through the link. It was easier to focus on what I was doing.

Felix repeat that we are together often and I scoff. "Felix you guys are around each other all of the time! I'm left out of absolutely everything. Your guys outings, your group dates, every small thing. Hell im even excluded when you all sleep in the Pack room and I'm left by myself in my room. I'm alone here. I sit by myself and wait for you guys to get home and when you do I can't even get a hello from most of you. The most I've talked to the alphas  in the past six months is them asking me whats for fucking dinner! I can't do this anymore! I've gone through so much by myself and I refuse to do it anymore!" I vent closing my suitcase.

Felix look... Shocked? Hurt? I don't know. I dont care right now. I start zipping up my suitcase when I hear the front door Slam and multiple heavy footsteps.

"Baby?" I head Chan mumble

I don't think I've ever heard Chan sound like that. Not once. Ive heard him in almost every state possible but this isn't one of them.

He repeats the nickname and takes a step closer to me. I don't know if it's a large or a small one. I'm not sure.

I can feel the door close and more footsteps. Soon they are going to pile in and I'll give in to it.

"Baby tell me what's going on? Explain to me what wrong" He says wrapping his arms around my waist and I tense up.

I take a deep breath and pull my suitcase off of the bed. "Please stop- please just.. Don't.  I need space and I need my parents" I whisper trying to stop the tears running down my face.

Someone in the doorway makes a confused sound.

My anxiety rises as the seconds go and all I want to do is die. I want to sit alone in a room and process everything that has happened in my life. Every decision I've made.

I don't want to hurt them. I want to be the person they come to when being an idol is too much for them or when they want someone to cuddle. I want them to come to me for everything but I want the same in return. I don't want to have to text all of them and none of them every respond. I want them to check up on me and actually care if I'm okay. I don't want to deal with everything by myself anymore.

I deserve more than that. Everyone deserve better than that.

"Okay, you need space and I get that but we need to talk so we can fix it" He says tightening his arms around me. He rests his chin on my shoulder and kisses my cheek.

Everyone in the room is letting out calming pheromones but it's not helping. It is in a way, my body is completely calm but I can't do this. If I tell them they won't ever forgive me. They won't. I lost them. I couldn't keep them safe and that's my fault. All of it is my fault. I couldn't protect them and they are gone now. I didn't even get the chance to know their gender.

I didn't even get the chance to tell the guys.

I lost them and I had to do it alone. I couldn't even get the guys on the phone to come to me. I had to Uber home. Alone and in so much pain, mentally and physically.

The guys were out with their manager. They opened the messages and couldn't even take a second to respond to me.

"Tell us what's wrong baby. Talk to us"

Silence.

No

They will hate me. More then they already will when I leave. This will kill them just like it has killed me. If they don't know then it can't hurt them.

I don't know when Jisung got here but he's right next to me. His hand is resting on my cheek. I look from down at my  suitcase and up to him. "It's okay. Something happened and I know you don't want to talk about it but we have to so we can fix it" he says gently.

I blink at him. I have a flight in three hours. I'll tell them then I'll go. They will hate me for it.

I nod but ask them to let me go. They both do, hesitantly of course but they do. I back up closer to the door and look down at my suitcase. Everyone is here. They will be good as a pack of eight. They will have each other and be over to cope faster. That's good. They don't need an incompetent omega, it will be better for them.

"Two months ago I started feeling off. I thought it was the side affects of me no longer taking the heat suppressants. The feeling continued for longer than a month so I went to the doctors. They told me that I was.. I was-" I paused. I was pregnant. Was.

"I was pregnant."

The guys looked shocked. More than shocked. It takes them a minute before hyunjins shock turns into sadness. "Was?"

I nod. "I lost them. Monday"

Silence.

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Word count: 1563
Idk how I like this tbh. Its okay? Maybe I'll make a part 2