Accept Me

Chapter Four

KIMI

By the time Jae and Won Sik leave we're on friendly enough terms and I think we might've given each other the wrong impressions at first. Won Sik must be quite a bit smarter than he lets on, because it appears that he actually planned to pretend he thought we couldn't speak the language all along so we'd end up with a memorable story in common.

He teases Jae the way a younger brother would though I understand there's only a year between and they're in no way related. Where Won Sik is openly friendly, Jae is more withdrawn. He's clearly always paying attention, he just doesn't seem to have a lot to say and he's not playful like Won Sik, who seemed very surprised that Jae made me fall into the pool with him.

It's good we probably won't hate each other. That could get very uncomfortable. We can be nice to each other and respectful after we're married. Which will be sometime in the future and not any time too soon.

Despite it being this "done deal" I'm not ready to be a married woman. Logically I know there must be some part of me that doesn't like the idea of being married for business reasons. I can't seem to access that emotional place, however, and figure out how to stomp it down.

Refocusing my attention, I dump my things into the locker assigned to me and slip my lab coat on. I breathe in the familiar smell that seems to linger in every university lab ever and I start to smile.

I'm just where I should be.

*****

Arthur and Hedda don't come home for dinner every day this week and I'm irritated because I can't say a word to them about it since I'm late every day too even though I make it back before them. I'm just annoyed because I'm so tired that if I'm not careful I fall asleep at the dinner table, food half eaten.

I know things will slow down and I'll find my rhythm but I'm still struggling right now and I'm really exhausted and really lonely too. Jae crosses my mind but I haven't heard from him all week.

That's fine.

Just fine. Totally.

Totally fine.

I'm okay with that.

Sigh.

I shouldn't have expected he would, but I did I guess. Without realizing it, I expected after Saturday night that we'd talk at some point this week. I thought we started a friendship, which is dumb of me I suppose, but there it is.

When Auntie called to cancel the family dinner this weekend explaining that they'll have to be out of town instead, I was disappointed, but Hedda suggested we host a low key cocktail party, so I'm feeling pretty happy right now. We've made some casual friends since we got here and it's time to have a house warming party.

I invite a small group from the lab and at the last minute I decide to invite Kang Min Ri, a young history professor at the university who I run into frequently. We always seem to be going into the cafeteria for lunch at the same time or he'll end up at the coffee kiosk at the same time in the afternoon as me.

Min Ri is easy going and nice to be around so when I see him at the kiosk Friday afternoon I invite him to the housewarming on Saturday. He accepts immediately and asks if it would be okay for him to bring an associate from his department so he doesn't use me as a crutch in case I'm the only person he knows, any reasonable person would agree to that so I do.

It's a beautiful day and by early evening everyone is pleasantly buzzed and hanging around. The initial awkwardness from meeting strangers has disappeared and people are having a good time.