Accept Me

Chapter Seven

KIMI

After signing the contract with the university they pay the rest of this year's rent on my apartment and give me a hiring bonus which I'm insanely grateful for because I am now the very proud owner of sheets, a comforter, several pillows, and an adorable little tabletop humidifier.

I spend the rest of the week taking care of this and that. I close my old bank account and open a new one with a virtual bank, finding myself suddenly afraid that my parents will take what money I have if they realize they set up the accounts and have the ability to sweep out the money and close them.

I don't know how paranoid to be. I only know at this point that anything that doesn't seem like it's only mine I don't want and I don't want anyone having any power over me. I got lucky this time by the skin of my teeth. This could have been so much worse and I start to feel anxious and panicked when I think about it.

If Hedda hadn't been here to help a bit, if I hadn't met Min Ri, if I'd had no money saved...things would have been really, really different. I could've ended up at the American Consulate trying to stop myself from being starved and homeless.

Still, when I think about it, I'm not mad at Jae. I'm not mad at his parents. I've pretty well convinced myself they didn't know this would happen.

Except...

This is what happened. So...I might be a little mad.

A tad put out, let's say.

I'm sort of sad that I haven't heard from Auntie, I guess I hoped she actually cared about me a little bit. But, I remind myself, I don't know her. Not really. And Nana loving someone like a daughter...well she didn't love her because she's an excellent Aunt to me, she loved her because she was an excellent daughter to her.

I need to stay focused on learning how to live how I want to, not on whether I'm someone people can love. Right now I only need to worry about taking care of myself. It's enough.

On Saturday morning I head to the Ahn's and give the bag with the comforter, pillow and a thank you note for Jae to the servant who opens the door, then I head towards the library I scouted out yesterday. I've yet to go inside anything but the library on campus and I want to find another free place to spend my time, I can't think of a better place to be than surrounded by books.

I end up spending the afternoon reading and I buy myself a fancy coffee drink that's filling enough to pass for lunch. I head back home to pick up my laundry and take it to the laundromat so that I can sleep on my brand new sheets tonight. I feel sort of foolish given how over the top excited I am about bedding.

Sitting on a pretty little couch at the coin laundry, I happen to look up from the notes I'm going over to teach class on Monday and see Ahn Hyuk Jae walking by. I wonder if he's in my neighborhood because he stopped at my apartment or for some other reason. I watch him cross the street and stop, Won Sik jogs up next to him and starts gesturing down the street and the woman from the bar last week walks up then too.

She's tall and exorbitantly thin with long dark hair that's perfectly done and a tight mini dress that highlights her long legs. Her heels are about five inches tall and make her almost as tall as the two men so she must be pretty tall to begin with.

At the bar my impression was that she's an average but expensive looking woman. She's clearly close friends with Won Sik and Hyuk Jae. I didn't get the impression that she was romantically involved with either of them but I did get the impression that she's the type of girl who feels she owns the men around her and doesn't take well to other women receiving attention from them. I've known a lot of those girls, they suck pretty hard.