Ch. 19: Missing Her/Moving Day

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**I'm gonna submit the picture in the m/m to the Smithsonian Museum of Art. Luh' baybeh is just that fine. Pure artistic beauty Lmfaoo!

Excuse my mistakes and Enjoy my love bugs!

Kourtney

"Mom, I really miss you. I'm expecting, your grandchild, and I really wish you were here to experience this with me. I finally met Gary, he's amazing. I was upset at you for a little while for keeping him out of my life, but as time went by, I understood your intentions. I love you mom. Life is so hard without you. Even though I have August, Gary and Sal, I need you here with me too. Augusts' family is moving here next week, and they've accepted me as apart of the family. So that helps fill a void."

I wiped the tears that were falling from my eyes and continued.

"Today is moving day. August insisted that I move in with him, and there was absolutely no way of no being an option for me."

I chuckled through my tears, at the thought of his persistence and dominance over me.

"He's super protective and super concerned but it's kinda cute Mom. We're both new to this. We are ironing out our kinks still, but you'd love Aug, Mommy. I know you would.

I hope your having a great time up there with Jesus. And Lord, I pray that your taking great care of her. I know this may not be the formal way of talking to you, but I will be visiting you at your memorial tomb very soon. Until next time Mom, I love you."

I kissed the urn and hugged onto it, I softly whimpered as I held it close to me. I miss my mother.

My mother was cremated when she passed, but I always wanted a memorial of some kind. Somewhere to always refer back to where I know her spirit would stay alive. So I decided to get a memorial tomb made for her as well, in Ft. Lauderdale where we use to live. I sprinkled some of her ashes at the gravesite and kept some in the urn to always have with me.

Life's rough, and not a day goes by without me wishing she was here with me. To see me make something of myself, and rise above all of our hardships.

I kissed the urn, the only thing I had left of my mother and held it close to my person, tightly. I wiped the tears that escaped, again.

I was kneeled down on the floor, in my used-to-be bedroom. I looked around the room to make sure everything was gone. The only thing I had left was my Mothers ashes and a few pictures of us that we're hanging on the walls. The movers had moved pretty much everything out of the house and over to Augusts'. But I insisted that they not touch these valuables, and they respected that.

I immediate snapped my head toward the direction of the bedroom door, where I heard a knock against the door frame. I saw August leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets.

"You okay Ma?" He lowered his sun glasses off his face and looked in my direction.

I sniffed while wiping my almost dried tears.

"Yea I'm okay." I stood to my feet and held onto my urn and photos. He walked to me and took the photos out of my hands and kissed my forehead.

"Just know she's looking down on you Ma. And you always have a piece of her with you."

I blinked away another tear, but he soon wiped it away. "Sorry for crying. I just miss her, you know?"

"Yea baybeh, I know exactly what'chu mean. I miss my brudda like crazy, and if he was still here, life would be so much easier fa' me. But if he didn't pass, I woulda still been on'nem streets. Prolly in jail or maybe dead. Just like ya' mom. She raised you ta' be a fighter when shit gets tough. You held ya' own for a while now, and admire your strength Kourt."

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