Bound To Fall

I Don't Think I'm There Yet

"I'm so glad that we were able to come out tonight." Elise smiled as she took a sip of red wine.

"Yeah, me too." I responded lowly as I looked down at the table. To be honest I'd rather be anywhere else but here. Unfortunately I promised her dinner earlier.

My mind keeps going back to Killian and Isabelle leaving together yet again. I'm jealous, I'm not afraid to admit that. I didn't want him getting too close to her. He knew my love for her never died, if he touched her that would end our friendship. I might actually fucking kill him too.

"Are you okay?" Elise asked as she studied my demeanor.

I let out an inward sigh to myself before answering her. "Yes, l'm fine. Just a long day at work is all."

"Shouldn't your assistant be helping you in some way?" I picked up on the annoyance in her tone instantly.

"She's doing the best she can." I defend. Isabelle had been doing her job despite the circumstances, she deserved to be defended.

"She?" Elise's eyes went a little wide. "Your father hired a woman? I sure hope she's at least ugly."

"Are you being serious right now?" I couldn't help the irritation that escaped my lips. I was stern as I continued on. "Elise, I have given you no reason to have any trust issues. How my assistant looks has nothing to do with what she's capable of doing. I better not hear another snide word about my assistant who you haven't even met yet."

She looked at me with a shocked look for a moment. She didn't expect the response I had given. Our night would probably end in a fight now but I didn't care. Izzy didn't deserve to be talked down on. I didn't let anyone act this way when we were kids and I wasn't about to change that now.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever Sterling, she just better keep her hands to herself or I expect her to be gone."

"I hate to break this to you but my father is the one who hired her. I have no authority to fire her." I had no problem informing her of this.

Elise had gotten too used to getting her way. The fact she was powerless on something like this was a little satisfying to me. No matter how much of a tantrum she threw she was no match for my father. He wouldn't get rid of Isabelle just because Elise was uncomfortable which he had already stated.

"Of course he did." She scoffed.

I could tell my father didn't like Elise. He toned down his facial expression to better cover it up but I could still see hints here and there. He only allowed her around because of my mother. Kaydence was the one who kept telling him that he needed to put his feelings aside, that if Elise was the one that made me happy he needed to back off.

She was big on trying to find the good in people. She had taught Scarlett and I that sometimes people would redeem themselves. Her example was my cousin Justin and his wife Victoria. My parents never spoke too much on the details but I know Justin had fucked them both over a couple times and used Victoria to do the same.

They all managed to put their differences aside and work things out. Now Justin was running Resurgence Industries. The company was practically dead when he got it but between him and my father it was now thriving. It really helped mend their relationship, so much to the point we had taken a few vacations together here and there.

"You might not like it but it is his company. He makes the rules and I abide by them." I responded.

The waiter brought out our meal and we began to eat in silence. I could feel the tension growing as she wasn't pleased with how I was talking to her tonight. Between the thought of Killian with Isabelle and Elise making her comments, I didn't give a fuck. We'd have our spat and I would probably go back to my apartment alone.

"Sterling, we've been together a year." I was surprised as she spoke in a calmer tone. "When do you think we'll be taking the next step?"

"Like moving into together?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

When I finished college a couple months ago my father helped set me up a place of my own. I didn't want to be twenty-two and living with my parents. With the position I have in Tipton Enterprises it's not like I needed to save up for it either.

Elise had wanted to move in then but I told her no. That was the same night she had her melt down and I got a call she was in the hospital. She thought that because I wanted to live separately that things were going downhill for us. She took a bunch of pills, she never told me what they were, but she said it could've ended badly if her friend hadn't gotten her medical attention when she did.

Even after that I still refused to let her live with me. I did promise her though that I would stick by her and she could move in when we were in a good place, that had yet to happen. She still threatens self harm out of habit, a severely unhealthy one. I know it's stupid to stick around for that reason but it would make me feel so guilty if I left and something happened to her.

I also had been waiting it out to see if maybe she would have that moment where she would redeem herself and we could actually be happy. Part of me felt like the girl she was when we first met was in there and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't heartless, I did actually care about her to some extent, we just have our problems.

"No, well kind of." She spoke coyly. "I was thinking that maybe we could start considering getting married."

"Elise, I don't think I'm there yet." I was just being honest. I was on the fence about it before, I didn't know if this is how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Now Isabelle was back and that was really fucking with my head and feelings and it had only been a few days.

"Sterling." She stuck her bottom lip out to pout. "It's been a year. You can't tell me you haven't at least thought about us taking this step."

"I've got a lot on my plate right now." Again, this wasn't a lie. I just started a new job a few days ago. I was just trying to take one big step at a time, now she's trying to throw this on me.

I could see her eyes begin to tear up. "I thought you loved me. If you can't even think about it then what's been the point? I'll just go, you won't have to worry about me anymore."

There it was. Her comment about going to hurt herself without saying it. The guilt crept in as I thought back to that promise I had made to her in her hospital bed.

I let out a defeated sigh. "Elise, relax. It's just a lot right now but I'll think about it."