L'Allemand et l'alliée (Englisch, Reylo)

chapter 20

I'm just getting back and putting the key in the lock. I carefully open the door and calmly look around. It was compared to outside, even stayed relatively cool inside.  But before I can close the door behind me, I turn around and take a quick look at the mailbox. You could never really assume there were letters since the war, but in fact there was one in there today.  Reluctantly, I pulled it out and simply couldn't imagine who it might be for. It was blank white, no postage stamp and no sender, could this be a kind of warning?

But before I could think further about what happened, I saw who it was actually intended for. Benjamin Organa-Solo was written in cursive in the lower right corner. Outside, too, I took a quick look around, but it seemed as empty as most of the time. I finally re-entered the house and went quickly to the kitchen.

I took the letter knife out of a drawer, but suddenly I seemed to feel some kind of compassion. He was a grown man who insisted on having some privacy too. But if he never saw the letter, he wouldn't know that it got here.

Without thinking about it, my curiosity finally seized me and I couldn't help but open it.  After all, I wondered why he received letters in times of war and we didn't. I pulled out a white piece of paper with lines, his name again on the first line.

Dear Benjamin,
we're fine. We ask ourselves far too often than necessary how you are, although I am more than sure that you are doing a good job. Well, although you can't be sure if this is a sensible profession. I just sincerely hope that you don't have to experience too much suffering.  The neighbor boy Jeffrey returned home recently and the poor one was utterly disturbed.  I hope you still remember him, he was a good boy. Nobody deserves such suffering, I ask you to get this war over with quickly. I also wish we could write more letters to you, but unfortunately it is unauthorized for us to know where your current location is. I was just able to ingratiate myself with your captain, he posted the letter for us. I would love to tell you so much about what's going on at home, even though it wouldn't even fit on a hundred pages. In any case, your old grand piano is still there, we will take good care of it so that when you return home you can become a pianist again. If you still want that, the current situation changes us all and I would be happy to welcome you again in your old condition. I miss hearing you play in the evening that I even try to learn myself, but as a teacher you would just be able to help me more. Maybe you’ll start teaching again and bring a pretty girl home with you. Since the one with Ida you were drafted straight away and we didn't even get the chance to stand this through with you, but maybe it wasn't that bad for you?  We would be so happy to hear from you because we are not sure whether you are still alive or what you have already had to endure.
Lot's of, love mom and dad

I hadn't even realized that he had a family too, of course everyone had a family somewhere, but by him you didn't even think about it. I could even have trusted him that he was lonely and could cope with it. I couldn't reserve this letter for him. Even if he was a horrible man with what murderous thoughts I know, would this perhaps soothe him? His family is fine and that's what matters, so he should be allowed to know. He was sure to have arrived home a long time ago and was sitting in the room or in the garden.

Sighing, I got up and turned to move to the stairs, but he came straight towards me and eyed me questioningly. Although I actually had nothing to say, he was standing in front of me and seemed to have seen through me a long time ago.  He didn't ask at all and carefully reached for the slip of paper in my hand. He only seemed to have read the first line to see whose handwriting it was. "I shouldn't have opened it." I barely apologize, but I still seem too absorbed in his letter. At that moment, I really would have expected anything from him. Maybe he yells at me or threatens me because I now know that he has a sentimental side to him, but it didn't come at all.

"I thought they were dead." He whispers back and looks at me. "What will you do now?" I ask carefully but he shrugs his shoulders. "Probably kill someone again and hope that as soon as I return home I'll be forgiven for everything. Like every time." Does he spin without another word or emotion so that it looks like this letter has never been here.