Tips On How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

Tip #4

Hey everyone, thanks a bunch for reading this book. Really hope you're enjoying it. Leave a comment if you like, the whole point of this book is to help you through the Z.A. Am not expecting it to be famous. OK, ok.. enought chatter let's get to the chap. shall we?

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Tip #4: How about we don't start a mano-a-mano combat with that zombie?

'Avoid hand-to-hand combat, it is much easier to run than fight. Zombies are slow.'

I'm sure we all knew that right? 

"But what if we seek revenge from that specific undead pizza guy for delivering my pizza late last month, and still made me pay it?"

Let's see what would happen...

Timothy walked over to the door as the doorbell rang annoyingly, the smell of pizza filled his nostrils, but he was to angry to indulge it.

"Hey, here's your pizza." Timothy snatched the pizza out of the pizza delivery guy's hands, and glared at him as he still stood in his doorway.

"What the hell do you still want?! You're like, 0.16 seconds late!" Pizza guy stretched his hand forward, and cocked an eyebrow.

Timothy sighed and took $15 out of his pocket, chucking it at Steve,the pizza guy. Yes, Timothy checked his name tag. His name is Steve. Steve recoiled, and picked the money up, turning around and stomping away. 

1 month later....

Timothy sat hidden behind the couch, his friends next to him. Various zombies broke into his house due to the previous noise the had made. Steve the pizza guy was one of them. Timothy seethed with anger at the sight of that malicious undead creature. His friends dashed out to the livingroom hoping to escape from the backdoor.

"C'mon Timothy! Let's go!" Shout-whispered Jimmy, which is pronounced Scarlett.

Timothy shook his head no, and pounced on Steve. They wrestled for dominance, but Timothy had no upper-arm strenght whatsoever. He punched the zombie with all his might, AKA like a 3-year-old. Steve was now on top, and instead of wrestling Timothy, he just bit his head, and now Timothy is dead 5ever THE END . 

I'm not ok.... Timothy was my fav. character... :(

See now children? The consequences of your actions? Don't worry about revenge, the thought that someone is weak enough to get turned into a zombie avenges you enough my friends.

Peace, my zombie-hater brothers.