Tips On How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

Tip #5

Tip #5: If you're stupid enough, I dare you to go on the street and blow a horn. I'm sure no zombies will attack.

'If possible, use a silencer. Zombies are attracted to sound.'

Ok, now where in the hell are we gonna get a silencer? I don't even know, but how 'bout this... SHUT YOUR F*CKING MOUTH, AND MAKE NO NOISE WHEN YOU SEE ZOMBIES! Then you won't be in need of a damn silencer.

In case you have no f*cking idea what the tacos a silencer is...

"It's a device attached to a loud machine/object to reduce noise."(Gun or w.e)

Got it? GREAT! Cheers!

Now Let me brainstorm some random story....

K, Got it!

(Please notice that stories are written to show you what to NOT do in case of these dire circumstances)

Timothy, Jimmy, Bob, Shark'eisha, and Maddison were sitting around, bored, in an empty alley.

"Hey, let's play Candor or Auditious undertaking." Jimmy suggests, shrugging.

"Yeah, let's!" Bob says enthusiastically.

The squad gathers up in a circle. Suddenly... I appear randomly out of the blue.

"Who is brave enough to perform the auditious undertaking that I shall give you!"

Shark'eisha stands up, "Hell yeah, I am!" I stare at her, a mischevious grin on my face. This girl must not have heard of my previous shenanigans.

I point a finger directly at her. She gasps, taken aback.

"Your auditious undertaking is to run out on the street, and blow this random horn that magically appeared into my hand." I said handing her the horn.

"Piece 'o cake" She walks in the direction of the alley's exit with a sway in her hips.

She finally reaches the middle of the road, and before she blows the horn I take cover on the rooftop of a supermarket. She blows the horns and abruptly, grunts and groans filled the eerie silence. The others rush, and climb into my safe spot, as we watch Shark'eisha scream in pain and horror as the zombies eat her alive. THE END.

THat was CrueL AF idek.

I guess Shark'eisha learned her lesson. Do not take dares from people who magically appear out of nowhere, AKA me. LOL. So that's the 5th tip already.

Good luck y'all.