in love (R.P)

chapter twenty seven

kennedyrodriguez

madelyncline and 873,972 others liked.
kennedyrodriguez: IF A BITCH TRYNA GET CUTE IMA STOMP HER THROW ALOTTA MONEY AT HER THEN YELL FUCK HER, FUCK HER FUCK HER THEN YELL FUCK HER THEN IMA GO AND GET MY LOUISVILLE SLUGGER.. excuse me i'm sorry i'm really such a lady
-comments-
madisonbaileybabe: I REP YOUNG MONEY YOU KNOW SLIM BABY
-> kennedyrodriguez: AND WE BE DOING DONUTS WHILE WE WAVE IN THE 3-80
madelyncline: whats in dem cheeks gorl
-> kennedyrodriguez: vape smoke because someone walked by *debby ryans*
-> madelyncline: should've known AND NO NOT DEBBY LMFAOJCOSOAO
rudeth: pretty girl
-> kennedyrodriguez: i adore you forever and ever
jonathandavissofficial: WHEN SHES A BARB
-> kennedyrodriguez: we need to duet on karaoke again immediately
drewstarkey: she's always singing or rapping something ISTSHEJSKA
-> kennedyrodriguez: y'all hear sum? LMFAOOO KIDDING KIDDING DREW STARKAYYY
-> drewstarkey: I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON DREWY DREW? LMFOAOSOA
-> kennedyrodriguez: THATS UGLY NO LMFAO
user: oou new place whatcha doingggg ;)
-> kennedyrodriguez: photoshoot :D
user: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PLS ANSWER MY DM!! <33333
-> kennedyrodriguez: just responded to it <3

i was currently at a photoshoot, i got to wear a cool looking dress AND i got to hold a cat so i obviously agreed. afterwards i went to my car ya know as one does and started feeling my emotions get to me so i head to my house and go inside.

kennedyrodriguez

rudeth and 873,972 others liked.
kennedyrodriguez: got a mix of bored by billie eilish and trying my best by anson seabra on repeat
-comments-
rudeth: i'm coming over
-> kennedyrodriguez: i love you
-> rudeth: i love you
user: i love that ur so positive all the time !!! :D
-> kennedyrodriguez: :)
madelyncline: what a change in songs
-> kennedyrodriguez: sorry
-> madelyncline: don't apologize <3
madisonbeer: GORGEOUS
-> kennedyrodriguez: thank you
user: ur so pretty ITS HURTS IM NOT TALKING BOUT BOYS IN TALKING BOUT GIRLS
-> kennedyrodriguez: they're so pretty with their button up shirts <33333.
user: why the song bored? something happen between you and Rudy?
-> user: are you blind?? have you been reading their comments to one another? she listens to an ideally sad song, and you assume it's about their relationship ?
-> user: have you not listened to the song??? 'giving u all u want and more giving u every piece of me, i don't want love i can't afford' ya know. it just makes sense.
-> kennedyrodriguez: thank you for your concerns but please no assumptions! me and Rudy are in a good place right now and me listening to the song has nothing to do with him <3.

a/n:
i know this is ideally a more so positive wattpad story BUT the positive people aren't always the happiest 24/7 and i wanted to include a part of that into this book, hope you guys don't mind! also remember to check on your friends even if they seem okay and take care of yourself <3.
now back to the book:

i hear a knock on my door knowing it's Rudy, i open the door and he hugs me tightly knowing i'm feeling down. i hug back just as tight as he picks me up and carries me to the couch. he sits down placing me on his lap.
"talk to me when you're ready baby" he says rubbing my back.
that's one of the things i love about him, he's so patient with me and it's the sweetest thing.
"it's getting bad and i tried to ignore it but i can't anymore. i'm so fucking drained mentally and emotionally, it's ridiculous." i admit as i lay my head on his shoulder burying my face into his neck.
"it's not ridiculous my love, you're human it was going to happen at some point. do you know when it started getting like this again? potentially what triggered it?" he asks me still rubbing my back which brought the most comfort.
"no and that's what i hate the most, the fact that i can't stop myself from feeling this way. the thing that makes it worse is that apparently i'm seen as the 'positive one' in the group, i've seen multiple comments mentioning it and it makes me want to scream and cry" i tell him.
"the brightest stars burn out the fastest. you should turn your comments off until you feel better, your well being is so much important then comments. baby steps" he says.
i lift my head and nod trying to hold back tears as i laugh due to coping by laughing at myself.

-Rudy's POV-
i know behind that beautiful laugh and smile of hers is a girl that is hurting, it breaks my heart endlessly. Someone filled with so much love and who has a heart like hers, shouldn't have to feel such pain and emptiness internally.
"i just wish people wouldn't make assumptions when they know nothing that's going on, i get their concerned but like cmon man" she says snuggling back into me.
"what do you mean?" i ask her confused as i start rubbing her back again.
"in the comments, i post one thing that's not happy and people thought something happened between us? like i'm sorry what??" she tells me.
i nod "sadly that's what they do best sometimes is just assume assume assume" i reply. she's nods.
"also every time i go on an interview or something the first question i get asked is 'how does it feel to be Rudy Pankow's girlfriend?' like fuck it feels great but you could've asked how i was, first or something." she tells me.
"is it really that bad? i heard you telling Madelyn about it but i didn't want to eavesdrop so i walked out" i ask feeling sad about the news.
she nods "one, awhhh. and two, yeah it is that bad." she starts to say making me lean my head back resting it on the couch to listen while she begins to rant.
"anyways, it just sucks that when life gets to a high point where i'm happy and enjoying myself, it all goes downhill so quickly but what goes up must come down i guess" she continues. "i just want to be able to post the things i want on socials without feeling obligated to be happy all the time, i can't stand it and the comments? i'm most likely going to shut them off like you said because i don't know how much longer i can last with them on. i'm so blessed in life and right now i feel so ungrateful for feeling this way" she finishes as tears run down her cheeks. i gently wipe her tears with my thumb and kiss her forehead.
"i love you so much Kennedy, it's okay to feel something else other than forcing yourself to be happy all the time. allow yourself to feel sad or what ever it is that you feel right now. if you want to cry, let it out, if you're angry and want to scream then scream because holding it in will just hurt you more." i tell her trying to make her feel a bit better.
she nods, "i love you more" she says as i hold her close.
god i love this woman to death.

-Kennedy's POV-

we stay in the cuddle position, i was feeling safe as ever.

god i love this man to death.