oc rater [warrior cats]

kestrelmoss

name || Kestrelmoss
Past names - Kestrelkit, Kestrelpaw, Kesrelmoss
Name reason
Kestrel - her coat/pelt color
Moss - Her mossy green eyes
ooh, what a pretty name! it's very unique, but i really like it!

[1/1]

gender || Female
okay!

rank || Medicine cat apprentice (She got her full name but is still a apprentice)
Past ranks - Kit, warrior apprentice, warrior (She became a medicine cat when she was attacked by a fox and now has a useless back right leg, so she started training to be a medicine cat)
ooh, that's cool! i think this is the first medicine cat apprentice i've rated! and i can tell already that the backstory's going to be interesting!

clan || Flightclan - A plains like territory surrounded in trees and a small creek
flightclan sounds like such a cool fanclan!

appearance || Kestrel(Its a kind of bird) looking she-cat with mossy green eyes
hmm, she sounds like a really unique-looking cat. i think that cats that look like her probably do exist, although it'll be a small, small chance that you'll be able to find one.

and for the 'kestrel looking' part, it's a little hard to imagine; would she be a tabby or perhaps a cat with spots? i'd recommend choosing one to narrow her description down a little! along with that, ketrels can have different patterns and colors, so i'd suggest making the appearance a little more descriptive!

[1/2]

personality || Jumpy, Not the brightest, kind, sweet to her clan, tries her best to prove herself worthy, even though she was trained as a warrior she is quiet bad at protecting herself
her personality seems pretty interesting! although, i do have some questions; by 'not the brightest' do you mean she's not very smart or she's not very cheerful? other than that, all looks good!

[4/4]

family || Mother - Sootfeather - All black she-cat with a white feather with black stripes on her ear, emerald green eyes
i'm a tad confused, what do you mean by 'white feather'? and if sootfeather's a all-black she-cat, how could cats see the black stripes on her ear? just a thought i had, you don't need to change anything, though!
Father - Cloudwhisker - Brown tabby tom with gold eyes
Siblings(Not all from the same litter)
Sister - Silentclaw - Black tabby she-cat emerald green eyes
Sister - Honeywing - Brown she-cat pine green eyes
Sister - Cherrywing - Ginger she-cat gold eyes (Her pelt is from her Mom's dad Emberflank)
Brother - Batwhisker - Black tom with pine green eyes
Brother - Hailear - Black tom with yellow and green eyes
Sister - Leafdawn - Brown tabby she-cat with emerald green eyes and bright gold eyes
all looks good!

Mate - Badgertail(Before she became a medicine cat) - Badger looking tom with bright sea blue eyes
Kits -(From her first litter)
Daughter - Squirrelwillow - Ginger she-cat with bright sea blue eyes(Ginger passed down from Emberflank)
(From her 2nd litter)
Daughter - Maplepaw - Ginger tabby she-cat blind blue eyes
(From her 2nd litter)
Son - Slatepaw - Black tabby tom with blue and green eyes
looks pretty good! the only criticism i have is that i think ginger, compared to darker colors, like black and brown, are harder to show up. plus with emberflank being their great-grandfather, i think the possibility of kestrelmoss's kits having ginger is lessened.

[0.5/1]

likes || Helping her clanmates, Seeing her kits
all looks good!

[1/1]

dislikes || Fights, not being able to save their clan mate
understandable!

[1/1]

Mentor - Flightwhisker - silver tabby she-cat with bright yellow eyes (Warrior mentor)
Shydawn - Tanish gray she-cat with amber eyes(Medicine cat mentor)
Apprentice - Novemberstrike - White she-cat with two black patches on both her bright blue eyes, and a black patch over her back and tail
okay, cool! just a small point; i don't believe cats know what november is. other than that it all looks pretty amazing!

backstory || When she was born her mother, sootfeather, saw something 'special' in her.
what was that special thing?

 When she was apprenticed to Flightwhisker she had high hopes to becoming an amazing warrior, because Flightwhisker was deputy to Flightclan (Flightwhisker was named 'Flight' because she is the daughter to Skystar).
little confused, is skystar the founder of flightclan? if not, it's unusual that cats would be named after their clan. but it is cool, so you don't need to change anything!

What seemed to be ages for her, she got her warriors name, 'Kestrelmoss' she was so excited. She soon got a apprentice once Featherwing's (Novemberstrike's mom) litter grew old enough, 'Novemberpaw' was her apprentice. When it came time for Novemberpaw to get her warrior name Kestrelmoss cheered on her shy little apprentice to act tough, she was named Novemberstrike because she helped take a fox down with Kestrelmoss. Kestrelmoss and Novemberstrike stayed close and chatted as often as possible, when Novemberstrike was giving birth in the middle of the forest (There clan border), with no medicine cat, a fox struck, the only reason they were able to take down the other fox was because Novemberstrike was able to help... now she wasn't...Kestrelmoss held the fox off as long as she could for the other warriors to get there, but the fox ended up being to fast for Kestrelmoss and ripped its claws into her back leg and dug there teeth into her now useless leg, it was paralyzed forever...
poor kestrelmoss and novemberstrike! just a few pointers: how did novemberstrike get to the middle of the forest? how did kestrelmoss get to her? and how did they send word to the other warriors for help?

The other warriors got there just as it happened and stopped the fox before it got to Novemberstrike's kits...But when Skystar figured out, she made Kestrelmoss the medicine cats apprentice for her own safety...
interesting! i feel a little bad for kestrelmoss, though, as she must've worked very hard to become a warrior!

i think with a couple of tweaks, backstory will become very good!

[1/2]

final rating || 9.5/12 [included bonus points]

|~~~|

thanks for letting me rate kestrelmoss! i hope this helped!!