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— ❝ MY THOUGHTS ARE CRAWLING, YOU'RE ALL I SEE ❞
Happy pills were living up to their name.
Despite the hollow emptiness that crept into her chest, or the darkness that she seemed to constantly be surrounded by, there was a sliver of happiness that leaked into her soul.
For a brief time, it was only Finn that could sink in and sprout such joy. His soft spoken words and wide grins and glimmering dark eyes. The simplest touch of his hand brushing against her arm, or the sudden burst of warmth that came from sitting side by side.
A pure joy that she hadn't been able to find in anything else. Not in the highest state of mind, no matter which upper she took.
Finn was irreplaceable, one of a kind. Her own personal high that she couldn't pull away from.
But just like any other drug, you'd suffer the effects of pulling away after long term use.
Maybe there was a problem with her if the best way she could describe him was as her favorite drug, the best medicine for her soul. Millie knew there was plenty wrong about her, yet this particular thought worried her the most.
She didn't want to see him as something like a drug. Drugs were detrimental and no matter how good they made you feel, in the end, they were downright terrible. Not to mention, they were bountiful and could be found anywhere if she looked hard enough.
There was no other Finn, though. Which made him that much more special to her. And he was so good in every aspect, a pure heart and caring nature.
And yet he seemed to be drifting away.
Slipping right through her fingertips as easily as a handful of sand. What was worse is that she could only watch as he fell away, slowly but surely. Maybe she was even playing a part by not trying to keep him still in the palms of her hands.
Millie sighed quietly as she lay flatly against her bed, legs dangling off the edge, eyes shut as music echoed throughout those four walls.
It had been hours since she had first risen up so high with the latest dosage of her happy pills. Enough to make it through another evening spent alone. The crash was starting to drag her down, weighing so heavily that she couldn't bring herself to move.
Her breaths were ragged, eyes out of focus. Bleary and probably still dilated. Everything had seemed to be in such clarity that she was distracted by how fuzzy it all seemed now.
