us against the world | mileven

22.

EL'S POV

it's been 6 hours since i have got home and started to lay on my bed doing nothing. they have not stopped knocking on my door and i have not stopped to ignore them.

it was my fault.

i killed him.

it's my fault.

"el?" atlas knocks again, "hey, we're getting food. come with us. we'll let you drive and do reckless shit."

"not hungry." i say.

"el, you have to come out." spade says.

"why?" i ask, "there's nothing to do."

now i felt what they felt when they thought i died. except, he really did die this time. i can't believe this is how much pain they felt.

"you'll feel better. i'll let you punch me." ace says as i sigh quietly.

perhaps i should distract myself.

"fine." i respond and go to open the door, "but i'm going like this."

i only cleaned the blood on my face and arms. my outfit is bloody as fuck but i don't care. exiting my room, i hold my hand out for my shoes to float to the front door and once i'm there, i put them on.

"where are we going?" i ask quietly as they shrug, "wherever you like." diamond smiles at me and wraps his arm around my shoulder which i don't bother to move.

೫

we ended up at the food court in the mall. we sat at a large table with burger king in front of us. i'm only eating a burger and is sharing some fries with the guys.

sipping on a large coke me and atlas are sharing, i stare at the fries in front of me and play with it by dipping it and swirling it into the ketchup.

"el, you can't blame yourself." diamond says as i shrug, "but i can."

"no, but you can't." ace says, "you can't."

i shrug again and lean down on atlas' shoulder with a yawn, "perhaps it's all just a dream." i murmur and muzzle into his shoulder as he wraps and arm around me protectively.

"not a dream." blaze says as i feel him place a jacket on me.

i smile weakly, "thanks blaze."

"you're welcome." i could practically hear his smile as i close my eyes.

"you're tired, let's go home." diamond says.

again with the overprotective stuff. diamond is like a giant dad and brother. all their brother and dad stuff put in one.

"am not." i argue as i feel someone pull me into their lap.

probably atlas.

"let's go. it's almost night out anyways." he says and i know it's atlas.

opening my eyes, i remind them, "take the burgers. i wasn't done." they smile at me with a nod and gather all of our stuff.

leaning the side of my face on atlas' chest, i feel him push away the hair on the side of my face and stroke my cheek slowly.

"you haven't done that in a while." i whisper to him as he breathes out a chuckle, "well you didn't want to be comforted for a while."