The Dolan Twins and Me

Chapter 7: Secrets

Disclaimer: This chapter has some ideas that could trigger some or make some uncomfortable. It's about eating disorders. If you don't feel comfortable reading it, please don't read it. This is a very serious topic and I'm not trying to make fun of it, I'm trying to bring attention to it.

POV: Izzie

Secrets. They can be very hard to keep to yourself. Sometimes it's better to keep them to yourself. This secret was better if nobody knew about it. Of course, everybody in my family knows about it, and Conner. My mom found out about it first, then my dad, then my siblings, then the rest of my family. Conner found out last. It was really hard for a couple of years. Ever since Conner foun dout he has always helped me though any problem I've had. He always eats with me and makes sure I have all of the meals throughout the day. I'm anorexic.

I need to tell Ethan about this. I needed to move to California for this reason too. There's a great hospital out there that my mom wants me to go to. I have anorexia still, but it's not as bad. I've gained some weight, but I'm still underweight. My mom was okay with me coming out here because Conner was going to be there. He has kept feeding me everyday.

I'm lucky to have him. I'm lucky to be around still. My mom saw that I was wearing baggy clothing. She asked how I was doing and she made me eat with them every night. I just said that I wasn't hungry or I felt sick. My diet was water/tea and an apple for lunch/dinner and maybe soup. My mom made an appointment with the doctors because I was always feeling sick and not hungry. The doctor weighted me and I was at 75 pounds at 5'1. I was pretty bad. My doctor had to ask me some questions about my eating habits, and then diagnosed me with anorexia.

My mom was trying to look out for me. She told the whole entire family because of it. Of course I wasn't there because I had to be in the hospital for several days. They kept me for a week, to try and help me. They decided to move me to a eating disorder place that helps teens like me. It's in California. I haven't moved yet, but I get to move after my time in Flordia. I get to live at the place but also I get to be a part of the dance company. My mom thinks I need a week or two to get settled in with her. I believe she's crazy.

After the beach we drive home. On the way home, Conner stops for some frozen yogurt. I really don't want to eat it, but Conner makes me.
"Izzie get some, nobody will judge you," Conner whispers to me.
"But I'm not hungry! We had Taco Bell earlier," I respond.
"Izzie, the agreement is I would help you get better and make you eat food out here without your mom," Conner whispers.
"Fine. I guess I can have some," I say.
I get chocolate and vanilla swirled with some Carmel and chocolate sauce. Ethan got vanilla with a pile of topping. Grayson got the same. Conner got vanilla and a couple sauces and toppings. Terrance got chocolate with some sauces and a couple toppings.
"Isn't this great?" Ethan asks me.
"Yeah it's a great treat!" I respond.
"Thanks for this Conner! It was a great day," Terrance says.
"Of course! I hope today was fun," Conner says.
"It was very spontaneous. But it was a lot of fun," Grayson says.
"So fun! It was an amazing day! It was wicked," Ethan says.
"I wish I could do this everyday!" I say.
"What do you guys want to do when we get home?" Conner asks.
"Ummm maybe just relax in our rooms?" Terrance asks.
"Yeah I'm fine with that," Grayson and Ethan say at the same time.
"Can we watch Netflix in our room?" I ask Ethan.
"Sure, whatever you want," Ethan says and winks at me.
"Thanks! So almost ready to go?" I ask everybody. I was done with my frozen yogurt. All of the boys seemed done. They all said yes and we got up. I was throwing away all of our garbage, and Ethan was waiting for me. He ran to me and picked me up. He carried me(wedding style) to the car. We all got in and rode about 15 minutes till we got home. When we got home I hugged Conner.
"So are you going to tell him now?" Conner whispers.
"Yeah tonight. You think it's safe?" I ask.
"Totally. He should be understanding and he should be supportive of your recovery process." Conner whispers.
"Thanks, I'll tell you how it goes in the morning, goodnight," I say.
"Night, sleep well," Conner says.
We part our ways and go to our bedrooms. Ethan is in the bathroom brushing his teeth and etc. I grab one of his big shirts and put it on. That's what I sleep in, and Ethan loves it. I go into our bathroom and I see him in his boxers brushing his teeth. I grab my tooth brush and start doing the same. He finishes and walks into the bedroom to bring up Netflix on his computer. I continue for about 2 minutes and then go to Ethan.
"Ready for friends?" He asks me.
"Well I sort of have something to tell you before we watch friends." I say in a serious tone.
"Yeah go ahead." He says in a supportive tone.
"Okay this is really hard to tell you. A month ago, in late-May I was diagnosed with anorexia. Conner knows and the only reason I could come is if Conner would make me eat every single meal. That might explain why we get up early and we eat breakfast every single morning. That explains probably a lot for you. I'm going to California to dance but also because they have a great eating disorders clinic there close to Berkley I believe. I'm staying at the clinic so I can eat every meal and not skip any." I say. I'm super scared about his reaction. There is a slight silence before Ethan begins talking.
"I'm glad you told me. I want to be supportive of what your doing. Finding help is a good thing. I'm glad you found help before you die or something horrible like that. I want you to get better, and not have this condition be so relivant in your life. I know it probably won't go away totally. My cousin has bulimia. She still thinks she needs to throw up after meals. You will always be recovering, but we can do this. I love you." He says.
"I love you too." I say.
We both cuddle up and watch friends. At around 10:30 I fall asleep. Ethan turns off the computer and sleeps. Today was a good day. No secrets anymore, hoepfully. 

Authors note!
You guys didn't have to do this! Under 24 hours to get to our goal! Okay now that I know that you guys can do it maybe can we get to 230? I get you guys can do it! Like comment and share with your friends! And have a good day- 😻