*Dedicated to DaughterOfPoseidon*
*If you don't understand the main concept of the episode, I put a link to a video on the side.*
*WARNING: Slightly offensive*
*BONUS! I dare you to play along at home and tell me your results in the comments*
_______
Chloe: I can't believe we're actually in Scotland! I've always wanted to come here.
Rachel: Who doesn't? It is the actual "Land of the Brave".
Chloe: [Rolls eyes] Only you, Rachel.
Rachel: Can I do the intro?
Chloe: Sure, why not?
Rachel: Hello and welcome to another episode of HephaestusTV! Today the Seven and Nico are gonna play a game of Innuendo Bingo.
Chloe: Basically they must fill their mouths with water and try not to laugh when we show or tell them something. They're sitting in a circle so they can feel free to spit on each other, but there's also a bin in the middle for the sake of cleanliness, as this isn't our studio.
Percy: [Smirks]
Chloe: Right, I forgot! [Whispers to Rachel]
Rachel: [Goes backstage]
Chloe: Percy, you're being replaced by Octavian.
Leo: Why?
Chloe: He's waterproof so it's unfair.
Leo: Oh.
Octavian: [Dragged by Rachel] [Begging] Please, spare me! I'll scrub the toilets! I'll repaint the ship! I'll clean Frank's room! Just please don't make me do this!
Rachel: [Gives a look of sympathy] Sorry, boss's orders.
Hazel: [Scolds Frank] You said you cleaned it up!
Frank: I lied.
Leo: [Perks up] You said something about repainting the ship?
Rachel: [Puts Octavian in a chair] And just to be safe... [Ties Octavian's feet to the chair]
Octavian: [Cries like a baby] Please!
Rachel: [Looks at Chloe]
Chloe: Don't look at me, I'm as heartless as Nico.
Nico: Hey!
Chloe: It's a compliment, Death Breath. Everybody, get some water in your mouths.
The Seven - Percy + Nico and Octavian: [Fills mouths with water]
Chloe: Round 1 is Corny Jokes -- classic! What do farm animals like to eat for breakfast?
Rachel: What?
Chloe: Goatmeal!
Leo: [Snorts a little]
Chloe: Really, Valdez?
Leo: [Takes another sip]
Chloe: Round 2 is Nerd jokes. [Clears throat] How many wizards does it take to fix a lightbulb?
Rachel: How many?
Chloe: A Slytherin to break it, a Gryffindor to volunteer to fix it, a few Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder, and a Ravenclaw to remind them that they could've used magic.
Annabeth: [Trying not to laugh]
Chloe: Okay, almost got Wise Girl there. Try not to laugh at this one. Where do Time Lords like to play sports?
Rachel: Where?
Chloe: The Tennant court!
Annabeth: [Spits into trash can] [Laughs hysterically]
Piper: [Tries to hold back] [Spits into trash can] [Laughing] I laughed 'cause you laughed! Quit dragging me down with you!
Annabeth and Piper: [Fills mouths with water]
Piper: [Gives thumbs-up to Chloe]
Chloe: Round 3 is dark humour. Why didn't Cleopatra have a cell phone?
Everyone: [Expecting a bad pun]
Chloe: BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!
The Seven - Percy + Nico and Octavian: [Laughs] [Accidentally spits on each other]
Leo: That was the best thing ever!
Nico: [Wipes mouth] Meh, not too dark, but still funny!
Octavian: I'll give you that one.
The Seven - Percy + Nico and Octavian: [Refills water]
Chloe: Okay, still on dark humour, we have a 2-part joke. Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Rachel: Why?
Chloe: Because she had no arms! Knock knock.
Rachel: Who's there?
Chloe: Not the little girl!
Nico: [Snorts loudly] [Spits on Octavian] [Laughs loudly]
Octavian: [Very annoyed]
Jason: [Internally judges Nico]
Chloe: LAST ROUND! This is the boss level. Ready?
The Seven - Percy + Nico and Octavian: [Nods]
Chloe: I filled the bottles with toilet water.
The Seven - Percy + Nico: [Spits on Octavian] ACK! [Wipes tongues]
Octavian: Wha- [Dribbles on himself]
Chloe: And it's over! By the way, I lied about the last one.
Leo: [Looks like he wants to strangle Chloe]
Chloe: Percy, can you tell us who's the wettest?
Percy: [Drinking Coke] [Laughs] [Spits out drink] Now THAT'S an innuendo.
Chloe: [Realizes what she said] [Flustered] Shut up and tell us the loser.
Percy: Octavian, duh!
Chloe: Awesome, we have the loser of the episode! Congrats, Octy!
Octavian: Please don't call me that.
Chloe: That's all for this episode. See you next week in Paris!
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Since the next episode is in France (my choice), I want to do a couples-ish thing, but I need your help with 2 things.
First, pick which one (or more) of the following couples you want to see featured next episode:
Annabeth & Percy
Audrey & Marilyn
Calypso & Leo
Chloe & Zach
Clarisse & Chris
Gandhi & Pablo
Hazel & Frank
Piper & Jason
(Yes, in this story, these couples are ALL canon.)
Next, I need you to submit some questions that will be asked to the couples. As usual, nothing R-rated!
That's all! Thanks a bunch!
~ C. Gallagher
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HephaestusTV (A Percy Jackson Fanfiction)
FanfictionHello there! Hephaestus just invented demigod technology that won't trigger monsters and he made me as the host for HephaestusTV! Every episode is different and unique so tune in every week for godly fun and demigod randomness! Believe me, yo...
