*An extension of Episode 3*
*Sorry if I mess up a few facts*
Frank: [Unaware of camera] So this thing goes...and then...so I say... [Sees camera is on] Oh, hello demigods and gods and welcome to another episode of Vulcan Television!
Camera guy: It's HephaestusTV!
Frank: Whatever. I'm filling in for Chloe since she's...uh...busy? [Looks at script] Yep, that's it! She let me fill in because the studio was low on ideas, so here I am! I'll be having some guests today on my very special Pandaology documentary. [Looks at script] First, I will be telling you a bit of background about pandas. Giant pandas are native to Chinese bamboo forests and are currently an endangered species due to deforestation. Their diet consists of bamboo and they fall asleep anywhere. Baby pandas are the size of a mouse and usually their mothers can't support them, so they either get sent to animal conservation centers or just die in the forest. Interesting fact, you can actually nurse a baby panda and it will grow normally if you feed it dog milk.
Random Apollo kid: This is lame!
Leo: Yeah!
Frank: I'm just getting started. [Walks over to table] Here we have fossils of panda skulls and various bones, along with petrified waste.
Aphrodite girls: EEEW!
Frank: Can I get someone in the audience to help me with the fossils. There are more in a box under the table.
[Cue cricket noises]
Frank: Anyone? They don't bite.
[Cue silence]
Leo: The crickets fell asleep.
Frank: C'mon, don't leave me hanging.
[Cue more silence]
Hazel: Will I get paid?
Frank: I'm your boyfriend!
Hazel: And this is boring. Will I get paid?
Frank: How much? A denarii?
Hazel: 14 drachmas, 10 denarii, a handful of string, a big fork, a seedless black olive, 2 handfuls of lint from old dirty blue jeans and a live dungbeetle.
Frank: Um...ok...so...uh...
Audience: [Wonders what Hazel will do with that stuff]
Hazel: What do I do?
Frank: Just hold the stuff up when I name the fossil. Our first fossil is a skull of a 1 year old panda from Southern China...
~ 30 minutes later ~
Frank: ...I also have some paintings depicting the beauty of the Giant Panda...
~ 20 minutes later ~
Frank: ...Next is a video from pandaologist in China and one in Vietnam...
~ 10 minutes later ~
Frank: ...Here are some interesting facts about pandas. Wait, I'm getting an Iris Message backstage. [Leaves]
Hazel: That's an hour of my life I'll never get back, right Leo? Leo?
Leo: [Snores]
Audience: [Sleeping]
Crickets: [Sleeping/being squished by sleeping demigods]
Camera guy: [Sleep-filming]
Hazel: That's it for this show. [Yawns]
{ It later turns out all the Olympian gods fell asleep except Athena, who Iris Messaged Frank to make it stop. }
_________
~ C. Gallagher
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HephaestusTV (A Percy Jackson Fanfiction)
FanfictionHello there! Hephaestus just invented demigod technology that won't trigger monsters and he made me as the host for HephaestusTV! Every episode is different and unique so tune in every week for godly fun and demigod randomness! Believe me, yo...
