HephaestusTV (A Percy Jackson Fanfiction)

BONUS EPISODE: What's In Our Bags?

Zach: *Sets up the camera*

Chloe: *Checks Zach's backpack* *Gives him a thumbs-up*

Zach: *Takes his backpack*

Chloe: Hello Television! *Does a two-finger salute* We're about to go on a sightseeing tour through Mongolia, but first we thought we'd do a quick game of "What's in Our Bags?", AKA our standard security check.

Hazel: I may or may not have put an Undetectable Extension charm on all our bags to maximize storage space so we can carry Greek fire and other potential hazards.

Chloe: So, who's first?

Clarisse: *Shrugs* Why not? *Dumps out her backpack*

Hazel: Uh...not to be nosy, but why do you have a gallon of oil?

Clarisse: It's gasoline, you idiot. Get your explosives right.

Chloe: *Picks up a clipboard from a table* You do know that violates the "No potential explosives except for Valdez" rule, right?

Travis: I'll take THAT. *Takes gallon of gas*

Annabeth: *Smirks* Plastic flowers?

Clarisse: Gonna sell 'em on the street. Special deal: Get two for the price of three.

Piper: And loose cookies?

Clarisse: It's Percy food, in case the baby gets fussy.

Percy: You couldn't, like, use a Tupperware?

Clarisse: Why? You're gonna eat 'em anyway. Okay, who's next?

Harley: *Hides in a corner*

Clarisse: Harley, my main man! *Takes Harley's bag*

Harley: No! Give it back! *Struggles against Clarisse*

Clarisse: *Drags Harley along with the bag* *Opens the bag*

Leo: *Looks through* Let's see...chapstick, ice cream, sandwiches...*Sees something suspicious* Harley, why do you have cherry cigarettes?

Harley: ...

Leo: I'm waiting.

Harley: *Looks down* I sell them in a black market.

Leo: Why?

Harley: I wanna buy a penguin.

Travis: Sorry dude, I'm afraid I have to confiscate it. *Takes 90 boxes of cigarettes*

Harley: Aw.

Chloe: Sorry kid, but it violates the "No selling or distributing drugs in a foreign black market if you're under 18" rule.

Harley: There's a rule for that?

Chloe: Yep. Page 62, Article 44, Clause 2.

Harley: *Crosses arms* I don't believe you.

Chloe: *Shows Harley the page*

Harley: Dangit.

Chloe: That all you got?

Harley: Yes ma'am.

Chloe: Coolio. I'll go next. *Gives Travis her purse* *Pretends to realize her mistake*

Travis: *Smiles evilly* Too late. *Digs through purse*

Chloe: Wait for it...

Travis: OUCH! *Pulls hand out* WHY DO HAVE A FAMILY OF HERMIT CRABS IN YOUR PURSE?

Chloe: Because they didn't fit in my pocket.

Nico: *Rolls eyes* 15-year olds are crazy.

Annabeth: Nico, you're 15.