The Moon Is Beautiful

Chapter 12

I must be out of my mind.

How could I imagine that?

"I have to go." I say, stumbling over my words.

"Are you okay?" Eliza asks, touching her hand to my arm. Am I okay? No, I'm not. I ca hardly believe what I just imagined. I imagined him saying that he likes me, and I imagined the two of us kissing.

I'm ashamed. I'm not even sure how much of what I saw was real and what was my imagination. Everything from the moment I saw him here for the first time could be my imagination.

What's wrong with me? I must be going out of my mind. Shaking my head, I rush away from them, my mind confused. I feel delirious, the aftereffects of my imagined scene still playing in my head.

When I reach my home, I throw myself onto my bed, sighing heavily.

What am I supposed to do? What does this even mean? Why am I so affected by him? He was so calm around me, so why can't I be the same?

I need to sort myself out.

Barely thinking, I pull out my phone and dial my mother's number. I'm surprised when she answers, considering that she's usually too busy to answer any calls.

"Rose, what a surprise. Is everything alright?" my mother questions, knowing that I never call her first unless something is wrong.

"Where are you? Are you still overseas?" I immediately ask, my heart racing in my chest.

"I'm at home. My overseas business trip ended faster than I thought it would. Why?"

"Can I..." I hesitate, realizing the weight of what I want to ask her.

"What is it, my dear?" she asks, her voice gentle. It feels strange to hear this tone in her voice, like she actually cares, but for now, it comforts me more than it makes me uncomfortable.

"Can I come home?"

Silence.

I hear my mother inhale, clearly surprised by my question. I'm sure that this is the last thing she was expecting. I surprised myself with this too, but I need to get out of this place. I need to go somewhere where I can clear my head, somewhere where I don't have to see Raine.

"Of course, my dear. When do you want to come?" she asks, her voice becoming lighter. I may be wrong, but she sounds almost...happy.

"Right now, if I can." I say.

"Right now? Of course you can. I'll prepare your bedroom for you. I'll send a taxi cab if you don't have a way to come." she offers.

"Please." I say.

"Alright. I'll send one right away. Just pack a few things quickly." my mother says and I nod, even though she can't see me. I hesitate before I speak again, unsure of how she will react to my next words.

"Thank you mom."

I hold my breath.

"Anytime, my dear. I'll see you soon."

I hang up.

Releasing a relieved breath, I smile.

I'm going home.

*****

The first thing I notice is the sea.

The clear blue ocean, the waves touching the light brown sand. Surprisingly to others who know that I come from a wealthy background, my hometown is actually a small town by the sea. It's because of my dad. While my mother wanted to live in the city, my dad said that he wanted to live here, in a calm and serene place where he can focus only on his daughter, me.

We didn't move away after my dad passed away. I think that this place grew on my mother, and even now, after I moved out, she still lives here. I think it's because it reminds her of my dad.

When we pull up to my childhood home, I smile. It hasn't changed at all. Its not a big house, but just big enough for our family with a nice tiny garden in the front where we grow a variety of different plants and a brick pathway that leads to the front door.

To my surprise, my mother is waiting at the gate for me. She welcomes me with a hug, startling me slightly, but after a few moments, I find myself hugging her back. Truthfully, I have always wanted a real mom. But she never was that for me, and her making the first move by hugging me makes me feel like she's actually willing to try to be a real mom for once.

"I'm so sorry, my dear." is the first thing she says, her grip on me tightening. I don't say anything in response. I'm not sure what exactly she's apologizing for, but I'll just let her, because she definitely owes me an apology for everything she did, or should I say everything she did not do for me.

I pull away and when I do, I notice that she has tears in her eyes. My heart constricts a little in my chest at the sight, because no matter what she has done to me, she's still my mother, and so seeing her cry hurts me.

"Rose, mom is so sorry. I should have been a good mom to you. I should've raised you instead of leaving you with your father. When your father passed away, I had another chance to fix things with you, but I didn't, and I'm so sorry for that. I never tried to fix things and I know that's why you resent me so much," my mother admits, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I know that it's probably too late, but I want to start being a mom to you now."

I don't know what to say. This is what I've always wanted her to say. But now that she's actually saying it, I feel conflicted. She's hurt me so much, and I don't think I can easily just move on from that. But I want to try. After all, the first person I thought of when things got rough was her.

"If you will let me, I'd like to fix things between us." she says. Tears unknowingly form in my eyes at her words.

"Sure, let's try." I say and a smile immediately forms on her face. She pulls me into another hug which I gladly return, only tighter this time. We have been through a lot and I know that this won't be easy, but as long as she's willing to try, so am I.

Perhaps this time, I'll be able to get the mother I never have.