Chapter 36

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"I'm proud of you."

Eliza hasn't stopped smiling since earlier. She overheard my entire interaction with Raine, and thd moment I rejected him, she couldn't help but make her eavesdropping self known to us.

After that, she pulled me back into my bedroom, closing the door behind us, as if to prevent anyone from listening in. As we sit here, I can't help but wonder what Raine is doing. I just left him there to his own thoughts, and I can't help but wonder whether he's still standing there, still shocked by my rejection, or whether he has already broken out of that state and has accepted things.

I think that it's the latter. He was never interested in me or my heart, but rather just my body, and so it should prove to be easy for him to get over my rejection and just move onto a new, prettier girl.

"It's not such a big deal." I shrug.

"It's not a big deal?" she questions, disbelief evident in her tone of voice. "Of course it's a big deal. You finally rejected Raine."

"Why does it sound like you've been waiting for this to happen?" I question, narrowing my eyes at her.

"That's because I have been," she says, as if it was obvious. "I had to watch you be so overwhelmed by your lust for him and finally, you have realized that he is not the man for you."

My cheeks flush at her mention of me lusting after Raine, because I know that she's right. I was doing that, and I was terrible at hiding it.

"Is that why you told me to choose Kaden earlier?" I ask as I remember our conversation earlier. She nods.

"I didn't mean it as in you have to date Kaden. If you don't like him, you don't like him. It's as simple as that. I just said those words because I wanted to make you realise that there are better men out there. Kaden was merely an example." she explains.

"How do you know that? You barely know Kaden." I note. She's only encountered him once now.

"It's a gut feeling?" she muses, shrugging. Her words bring a smile to my face. Her gut feelings have always been spot on.

"Well, I'm proud of myself too. I thought that I would never be able to reject him. He was always just so tempting." I admit, pursing my lips. Eliza places her hand on my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Don't worry. Now that you have taken this step, things can only get better." she assures, squeezing me once more.

"But...do you think I'll still be able to find someone?" I hesitantly murmur, my eyes moving down to the duvet which I nervously clench in between my hands. When she looks at me in confusion, I continue. "It's just...I'm not a...you know...a virgin anymore."

Her eyes widen in realization, before her eyes suddenly darken. "Hey, don't you dare think like that."

I bite my lower lip at her words, realizing that my anxiety about what I've done and about what I've lost runs deeper than I initially thought. It's not something I thought would ever be a cause of my anxiousness, but unfortunately, it has.

"Hey," she murmurs, capturing my attention. "If a guy refuses to be with you because you're not a virgin, then he's definitely not worth your time. Besides, most guys these days aren't virgins either. Finding a virgin in this day and age is a rarity."

Her words instantly makes me think of Kaden, and the night we spent drinking. To be honest, I do remember some of that night. It only came to me recently, and now I realise that what I thought was happening was actually so much different. What I remember is not much, but it's clear enough to make sense to me.

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