The Moon Is Beautiful

Chapter 14

I feel warm.

Ms. Anderson's arms are wrapped tightly around me, embracing me. After hugging for a significant amount of time, we decided to go into her shop, and even as we sit here at one of the tables, she's right next to me, hugging me once more. There is a permanent smile on her face, and she looks pleased, almost as if she has been waiting for this moment for a long time now.

I missed Ms. Anderson. I missed her food, her advice, her pep talks, and most of all, I missed her affection. When my own mother was off working everyday, she was the one who stepped in and took the mother role in our family. It wasn't her responsibility, but she saw it like that. She fed me, she tucked me in bed at night, she even bathed me at times. She was like the mother I never had.

I lean in, snuggling against her side. I barely notice my mother's presence in the room, too filled by emotions of glee and gratefulness as I sit here. Yes, I have decided to make up with my mother, but that doesn't mean that she suddenly means more to me than Ms. Anderson does.

"Oh, my beautiful rose." Ms. Anderson says, placing her tiny hand on top of mine. My eyes travel down to them, and I notice how fragile and veiny it's gotten, with her ring finger still untouched by metal.

Ms. Anderson never got married when I used to stay here. I think that's why she cared so much about me, because I remind her of the children she never had. And even now still, she's still not married.

"Haven't you met anyone yet?" I ask, flipping our hands so that mine is on top and start caressing her flaky skin. It feels a little insensitive to ask, but I can't help it.

"No, unfortunately I haven't," she breathes out, sighing. I feel sorry for Ms. Anderson. She's such a kindhearted and sweet person, so why hasn't someone swept her off her feet yet? After giving so much care and love to others, she deserves some of it herself now. "But it's okay. I believe that if it's meant to be, it will be."

Ms. Anderson has always been a heavily religious person. She goes to church diligently and always prays before going to bed every night. I joined her in her prayers sometimes when I was younger, but as I got older, I just fell out of it, and she didn't try and force me to partake in the religious act with her.

"Rose," Ms. Anderson says, pulling me out of my thoughts. "How about dinner at my home tonight?"

Her words almost immediately bring a smile to my face. I eagerly nod, squeezing her hand.

"I would love to." I say, beaming from ear to ear.

My mother and I leave the shop shortly to resume the walk around the town. I feel a little sad to have to leave Ms. Anderson so soon, but the reminder that I'll see her again tonight puts me at ease.

Our next stop is the market. The market has changed over the years. What used to be a tiny market with merely any stalls besides fruit and vegetable stalls is now much bigger, occupying a larger amount of space with a variety of stalls from fruit stalls to clothing and jewelery stalls. The moment we pass a jewelery stall, I stop, turning back.

I stare down at the collection of necklaces before me. Two specific necklaces captures my attention. Two necklaces, one containing a half of a yellow rose, the flower that symbolizes friendship. I immediately know that I want it and quickly point it out to the woman behind the table who promptly rings it up and places them inside a plastic bag for me.

"Who is that for?" my mother asks as we leave the stall, her eyes on the bag.

"Eliza and I. It'll be nice to have friendship necklaces." I say and she hums, nodding in understanding. Eliza and I have been best friends since we were little as this is also Eliza’s hometown and we grew up here together, so my mother does know of Eliza even though she hasn't really had a proper chance to meet her.

"I'd love to meet her." my mother breathes out, her words surprising me. She has never shown any interest in my life before, so this comes as a shock to me. Eliza is a very big part of my life and is one of the most important people in my life, and so my mother wanting to meet her feels like a step in the right direction.

She really is trying.

"Sure, I'll visit with her next time." I say, suddenly feeling regretful for convincing Eliza to not come with me. Who knows, this could have been a once in a lifetime chance for them to bond. But then, just as that thought crosses my mind, Ms. Anderson's words from earlier ring in my ears.

"I believe that if it's meant to be, it will be."

I'm not sure if I fully believe in those words, but they do bring me some sort of comfort in this moment right now.

We spend the rest of the day touring throughout the town, visiting people that I haven't seen in years because there were quite a few people who supported me through the years.

When night falls, we hurry back home to grab a jacket each, coldness creeping in before heading to Ms. Anderson's home for dinner. Ms. Anderson's home looks exactly the same as it did the last time I was here. It's quite an antique house with wooden walls and doors.

The moment I step inside the house, warmth envelops me and I smile, the warmth from the inside being in complete contrast to the coldness of the outside. I take a seat at the table, right next to Ms. Anderson and we indulge in a nice chat while we await the food.

"So, how are your studies going?"

"I'm still going strong. It's been a long four years that felt never-ending at times, but it'll all be worth it when I graduate." I answer.

"And what are you planning on doing after you graduate?" she then asks, and her question makes me stiffen. It makes me realise that I haven't really thought about what I'm going to do after graduating.

Throughout these four years of studying, my biggest goal was passing and eventually graduating, but never once did I think of what I'd do after graduating. When I was in high school, a lot of people warned me not to do an art degree as there are so many of us and that I'll struggle to get a job after graduating, but because it's my passion, I ignored their warnings and studied it anyway, because it's what makes me happy.

But now, I'm stuck. What if I won't be able to get a job? What if I spent the last four years of my life just to not be given a chance afterwards? What if all those people were right?

All of a sudden, anxiety creeps in and my nerves start fluttering in my stomach. My hands become clammy and I can feel beads of sweat forming and trickling down my forehead. My fingers tremble, and I have to clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking.

I haven't had this happen in ages. I thought that I was all better. My heart starts pounding in my chest, beating harshly against my ribs to the point that it hurts.

I know what this is. Oh no.

I'm having a panic attack.