The Moon Is Beautiful

Chapter 20

Silence.

Conplete and utter silence surrounds us. After finishing the story, neither of us said a word. My mother is completely silent, her face pale with shock and I don't blame her. I'm her child, and I just told her of a night I spent with a man I hadn't met before that very night. This topic is something I wanted to avoid having to talk to my mother about.

I mean, what child can comfortably tell their mother they had sex?

"Well...it's a lot to take in." is the first words to leave my mother's mouth.

"I know. I wasn't planning on telling anyone about it, but he's the reason why I'm here and I felt like I needed to tell you at least." I say, staring down at my hands that lay in my lap. It's true. My mother is the last person I ever wanted to tell, and I'm not quite sure what made me make the decision to suddenly tell her, however, I don't regret it.

It feels like the weight on my shoulders have lifted a little, not completely, but enough for me to be able to breathe again. I also need someone to talk to about this and someone to vent to and ask for advice from. Keeping the secret for the last two years has taken more out of me than I initially realized, and it's been eating me up inside, little by little.

I'm glad that I decided to tell my mother, and I confidently trust that if there is one person who won't judge me, it's her, especially after everything we've been through. This is the first time I've ever confided in her, and I trust that she won't ruin it.

"Have you met him again?" my mother asks and I nod.

"Recently, we bumped into one another again. But he doesn't remember me. Or at least, he doesn't seem to know that I'm the girl of that night." I say, sighing deeply. That fact still perplexes me deeply.

"I see. Do you like him?"

I freeze. Do I like him? I've never thought about that before. He does affect me deeply, to the point that he is all I think about, but I'm not completely sure of how I feel. Isn't it too soon to say that I like him? I barely know him.

"I'm not sure. But one thing is for sure. I'm attracted to him, very much so." I admit, my hair falling into my face. I never thought that I would ever admit this, but here I am. I already told my mother entire story, so I might as well be truthful to the end. It won't do me any good by lying.

"I know what you mean." My eyes snap to my mother's at her words.

"When I was in college, I met a guy, Luke. This was before I met your father," she clarifies, as if I'd be angry at her. "He was everything I wanted in a man, well, at least physically. He had the most smouldering brown eyes and those thick plump lips."

I roll my eyes at her words, knowing that that is exactly how I thought of Raine the first moment I saw him.

"Anyway, being the naive person I was at that young age, I went out with him, because, all I could think of was why this hot guy would ask me out. Despite my better judgement, I slept with him at the end of our date, and that just led to more mistakes. We had a kind of friends with benefits relationship, and if it wasn't for sex, he wouldn't bother acknowledging me." she takes a moment to breathe.

"What happened then?" I ask, my eyes filled with curiosity.

"Obviously, I didn't pay much attention to it at first because I was too into him to care, and that was my biggest mistake. Long story short, I asked him out and he broke my heart. Before long, he was seeing other girls." my mother ends with a sigh.

"That sounds..." I trail off, unsure of what to actually say. It might have happened a long time ago, but from the way my mother looks, I can see that it scarred her.

"And then I met your father. Of course, I was afraid to let myself fall for him because of what Luke had done to me, but your father was patient and proved to me countless times that he was sincere. Eventually, I allowed myself to let go and that was the best decision I have ever made." she explains, a smile fluttering onto her face.

I'm so glad that my mother got her happy ending, but will too? It sounds very unlikely right now.

"You will get your happy ending too," she says, as if she can read my mind. "You deserve it, and so I believe it will happen."

"I hope so." is all I can say, my voice becoming soft.

"Look Rose, I know that right now, you feel confused about your own feelings and that's understandable. But things will fall into place, and you will find the one meant for you, like your father was for me."

I nod, my eyes becoming soft. I feel so vulnerable right now, but my mother's words do comfort me a little. As long as one person believes that I will get a happy ending, I will be able to believe it too.

We spend another hour just sitting at the beach in silence before heading home. When we arrive home, we start preparing dinner for ourselves.

We decide on cooking a simple stew with rice and I prep everything for the stew while my mother cooks it on the stove.

After our conversation at the beach, I feel even closer to my mother now. If anyone would have told me that I would get close with my mother a few days ago, I would have laughed in their face, but now, so much has changed. We still have a lot to work out, but we're making progress, and at the end of the day, that's all that truly matters.

When we finish dinner, I decide to take a night walk, the night air too nice to stay inside. My mother insists on staying home and so, quickly going to my room to slip into a jacket, I make my way out of the house and onto the street.

The sound of waves crashing against sand fills my ears as I walk. It's a pleasant sound, calming me. I stuff my hands into my jacket pockets, reaching Ms. Anderson's shop. It's closed, obviously. I wonder if she's sleeping already.

The wind brushes through my hair, causing it to blow to the back and little strands to fall into my face. As I walk, I think about my mother's words.

Is there really someone meant for me? I want to believe it, but at this moment, it feels so far-fetched. It doesn't feel like it's true. And what about Raine? Will he turn out like Luke did? Will I be left heartbroken if I allow myself to feel something for him?

I really don't want to go through what my mother did. If possible, I want to find my soulmate right now so that I can avoid getting hurt.

I stop walking.

"Alright world. If I really have a soulmate, let him appear before me," I say, my eyes fluttering close. "When I open my eyes, I want him to be in front of me. If he really exists, then let him appear. I won't ask for anything more."

The wind brushes my face as I stand here, my eyes closed and my hands stuffed into my jacket pockets. I should wait a little.

As more time passes by, I feel more stupid. Scoffing, I pull my hands out of my pockets. I'm so stupid.

"Dummy. Why did you think something would happen?" I mutter to myself, frustration at myself creeping in. Of course nothing will happen. I don't know why I ever thought that there would.

"Bellerose, you are so stupid!" I yell out to the sky. "Dummy!"

By the time those words leave my mouth, I sigh. And then I hear it.

"Rosie?"

My eyes snap open and they immediately find the person standing a few meters away from me, walking stick in hand.

Kaden.