The Moon Is Beautiful

Chapter 45

Silence surrounds us.

Kaden hasn't said a word since I re-entered my apartment, just sitting at the window, staring out through it as though he can truly see. It's just his way of passing the time, and his way of avoiding me. I completely understand, but his silence has me in a frenzy.

I constantly bite my nails as I struggle to focus on my work. My work is so important, and yet all I can focus on is him. He's just sitting there, not sparing me a glance, however, I can't stop staring at him with narrowed eyes.

I have no doubt that he can feel my intense gaze on him, but he doesn't let it affect him, pretending as though I don't even exist.

This is my own fault, and yet I can't help but feel frustrated with the way he's acting. He told me that he's okay with how things are, and that he'll wait until I know how I feel, but now he's ignoring me because of my conversation with Raine.

He knows how confused and conflicted I am with everything, yet he insists on acting this way, making me feel so guilty for not understanding my own feelings. He promised he wouldn't make me feel guilty about how I feel.

He lied.

His behaviour has tears forming in my eyes, and I have to bite my lower lip to stop them from streaming down my face. I hate this. I hate the silence. I hate the way he's acting. I hate how I feel. I hate the guilt. I hate myself.

Night falls and exhaustion wraps itself around my bones, forcing me to shut my book, as though I actually worked when all I did was stare at the blank pages within it.

Stretching out my limbs, I walk to the cupboard and pull it open, taking a blanket and a pillow out from it. I place it on the couch and turn to Kaden.

"You should sleep on the bed. I'll take the couch." I say.

"No," he abruptly says, startling me. "This is your home. You should sleep in your bed. I'll take the couch."

"It's fine," I insist. "Just sleep in the bed. You need a proper night's rest for your surgery tomorrow."

He sighs, but walks to the bed, pulling open the duvet. And then he suddenly suggests, "Then we can share the bed."

My head snaps to his. Is he really suggesting that we share the bed tonight? After everything? I offered to sleep on the couch because I doubted he would want to share a bed with me after what happened earlier. But here he is, offering to share the bed with me.

I can't help but smile. He's such a good person, and he's thinking of me, even in this tense situation. He really doesn't deserve what I'm doing to him. I don't deserve him.

"Why? You don't want to?" he asks when I don't answer. "Well then, I guess it's fine..."

"No!" I exclaim, startling him. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just...I didn't think you'd want to share a bed with me after...well earlier."

Pain flashes in his eyes at the mention of what happened earlier and I almost regret mentioning it. But then his eyes clear and he hides all emotion from me, surprising me. I didn't know that he could do that. His eyes were always so honest, giving me the perfect view into his soul, and for a moment, I think that Sin has taken over, but when I see how his blue eyes sparkle so brightly underneath the moonlight, I realise that it's still Kaden with me right now.

"Well...despite whatever we both are feeling, I want us both to have a good night's rest." he softly says, his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Sure." I say, not bothering to place the blanket and pillow back into the cupboard before walking over to the bed and plopping down onto it, the mattress sinking beneath my body.